| Love-capacity...............8 | |
| parents do not love each other. Since the love-capacity of any parent is imperfect, the child misunderstands | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| also learn to evaluate the manifestation of your love-capacity. The two extremes are always close by. You | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| that he or she falls short in his love-capacity. In this partner the free and spontaneous expression | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| responsibility of parenthood. Thus their healthy and mature love-capacity will increase to its full potential, and affect | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| the childish craving subtly merges with the mature love-capacity, so the individual's justification remains that, If I | 81 CONFLICTS IN THE WORLD OF DUALITY |
| -- that gives meaning to life. Without the love-capacity your life will be empty, meaningless, shallow. You | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| primary step is always self-understanding, from which your love-capacity grows. Although this is not new, it needs | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| defenses and resistances, you reach a point of love-capacity, you simultaneously become much better equipped to accept | 115 PERCEPTION, DETERMINATION, LOVE AS ASPECTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| Loved.......................223 | |
| love, yet only on condition that they are loved first. Such a safe bargain not only locks | 4 WORLD WEARINESS |
| can give themselves totally, not only to a loved one, but also to any situation in life | 5 HAPPINESS FOR YOURSELF OR HAPPINESS AS A LINK IN THE CHAIN OF LIFE |
| intimation that the ties we have with our loved ones will remain in existence. ANSWER: That's exactly | 6 THE HUMAN ROLE IN THE SPIRITUAL AND MATERIAL UNIVERSES |
| point of view. I can promise you, my loved ones, that if you are truly desirous to | 12 THE ORDER AND DIVERSITY OF THE SPIRITUAL WORLDS-THE PROCESS OF REINCARNATION |
| the earth plane. There you will rediscover contacts, loved ones, old friends. And when reincarnation is no | 18 FREE WILL |
| can never be sure that you are really loved and appreciated. For this little voice in you | 31 SHAME |
| an individual's character. One way is putting the loved one on too high a place. In other | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| a place. In other words, you invest the loved one with a perfection he or she does | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| true. It must be a burden to the loved one to be overestimated. Sometimes consciously, though more | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| overestimated. Sometimes consciously, though more often unconsciously, the loved subject will sense it and will therefore feel | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| they never really feel comfortable, at ease, and loved for their own sake and for their real | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| love, neither beneficial to you nor to the loved subject. It is to some measure in your | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| you will really bestow a gift on your loved one who will then feel free of your | 32 DECISION-MAKING |
| is the small self that should not be loved, that must be severely treated by yourself. But | 33 OCCUPATION WITH SELF -- RIGHT AND WRONG FAITH |
| If you could accept the imperfections of the loved one, you would not need to close your | 33 OCCUPATION WITH SELF -- RIGHT AND WRONG FAITH |
| particular intolerance in people who feel themselves specially loved by God. There is often even a kind | 33 OCCUPATION WITH SELF -- RIGHT AND WRONG FAITH |
| spiritually less developed, he or she is still loved by God. This will be a wonderful exercise | 33 OCCUPATION WITH SELF -- RIGHT AND WRONG FAITH |
| many struggling men and women longing to be loved who do not know that what they actually | 35 TURNING TO GOD |
| not happened in your life that other people loved you as best they knew how, but since | 35 TURNING TO GOD |
| concentrate when you pray, for instance, for your loved ones. First, you engage in the mental process | 36 PRAYER |
| unhappy souls and human beings generally. Praying for loved ones -- which is easy. Your prayers should | 36 PRAYER |
| close your eyes to the faults of the loved one, but will do the opposite. If you | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| pride: the one you have chosen as your loved one and the one who has chosen you | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| the one who has chosen you as the loved one must not have faults which you do | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| that you need an idealized version of the loved person. Your love is not true love if | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| in being blind to the faults of your loved ones, a crisis, a shakeup, and a painful | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| that you do see the faults of your loved ones. Yes, you may see some of their | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| you were torn between the desire to be loved and accepted, therefore to rebel against authority was | 47 THE WALL WITHIN |
| essential lower self you would certainly not be loved and admired. Therefore, the desire for goodness is | 47 THE WALL WITHIN |
| authority. The conflict came into existence because you loved them. You may wonder how to solve the | 47 THE WALL WITHIN |
| right middle way. The person for whom the loved one becomes the authority because of an overdependency | 47 THE WALL WITHIN |
| they are intellectually. The child desires to be loved; in fact, it needs to be loved. If | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| be loved; in fact, it needs to be loved. If an adult existed who was able to | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| to the child that it is not sufficiently loved. This frustration causes the child to feel rejected | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| not love at the same time, if it loved in its own way and did not desire | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| and happiness and to become happy and be loved. The second conscience is motivated by weakness and | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| where it started, and the need to be loved and admired becomes much more compulsive than it | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| the same degree as you desire to be loved, thereby taking the risk of life, will love | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| and craving for love, and wants to be loved and cherished, cared for and admired even by | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| to give. They also insisted that you be loved exclusively. And you still live -- unconsciously -- | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| from another person? Can we expect to be loved with all our faults? ANSWER: The expectancy of | 51 IMPORTANCE OF FORMING INDEPENDENT OPINIONS |
| safe only if I were sure to be loved as much as I love. It takes a | 51 IMPORTANCE OF FORMING INDEPENDENT OPINIONS |
| cultivated. You asked, Can we expect to be loved with our faults? Perhaps the best attitude would | 51 IMPORTANCE OF FORMING INDEPENDENT OPINIONS |
| attitude would be that you expect to be loved with your faults as much as you love | 51 IMPORTANCE OF FORMING INDEPENDENT OPINIONS |
| about your fears of not being accepted and loved. All these attitudes cause self- contempt and feelings | 53 SELF-LOVE |
| many people develop an illness to punish their loved ones, to force them to be tender, sympathetic | 53 SELF-LOVE |
| Therefore, I want the world, my surroundings, my loved ones, God, to see how much I suffer | 53 SELF-LOVE |
| need to be perfect in order to be loved and to be happy, and in the other | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| In addition, you resent that you are not loved just as you are. It seems to you | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| seems to you that you ought to be loved unconditionally. This aspect reveals again that you demand | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| of happiness, is as follows: If I am loved, I am paid homage, I possess a subject | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| in a moment. So if you are not loved and find it impossible to love in return | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| you please? Do you not wish to be loved and approved by everyone, without exception? Do you | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| if my will were done, if I were loved and approved of. I have no intention of | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| your desire for happiness, you would not be loved or approved of. Since love and approval are | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| I cannot be happy if I am not loved and approved of. Therefore, I must become unhappy | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| hopeless if you couldn't be happy without being loved, and you cannot be loved when you are | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| happy without being loved, and you cannot be loved when you are happy, for happiness is selfish | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| souls, the strong desire to communicate with departed loved ones almost always has at its root this | 65 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| in the beyond -- no matter how much loved, how dear to you -- will lessen in | 65 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| emotional life. The child would like to be loved and approved of to a much greater extent | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| one to begin with, and who might have loved and cherished you in a much more satisfying | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| of your betrayal of the one who has loved you most for the one who has given | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| sex instinct mingles with the longing to be loved by the rejecting parent. Whenever this is the | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| OR SUPPRESSION OF THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED Greetings, my dearest friends. Blessings for each one | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| some degree, to everyone. The desire to be loved exists in every human soul. This desire in | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| order to fulfill the soul's longing to be loved, the human being often chooses a wrong way | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| I have a right to long for being loved. This can happen, provided that I, on my | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| this respect is that the longing for being loved is something to be ashamed of. Thus the | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| is wrong for me to seek to be loved. I have no right to be loved, I | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| be loved. I have no right to be loved, I am not worthy of it. That is | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| would realize that the real you can be loved and will be loved. The vicious circle would | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| real you can be loved and will be loved. The vicious circle would be broken. Now, what | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| way? You substitute for your desire to be loved the desire to be approved of, to shine | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| are mere substitutes for your longing to be loved. The frequent tendency to conform, to be the | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| more substitute trends for the longing to be loved, but I cannot possibly enumerate all of them | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| people not loving you, whereas you could be loved if you were free of the entire layer | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| not you who are too inadequate to be loved, but that the substitute layer that you artificially | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| you can find the original desire to be loved and the sadness that you are not loved | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| loved and the sadness that you are not loved as you could be. Think how very frequently | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| then understand the reason why you were not loved as much as you wished and will see | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| conviction that you desire love but are not loved in the manner and in the measure of | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| and shame. You see, the desire to be loved, in itself, is entirely creative, if stripped of | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| behind this entire facade your desire to be loved. You may not necessarily desire the love of | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| But the desire to be maturely and rightly loved persists in you, submerged by your fight for | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| I have just described. You long to be loved, while you are unable to give love -- | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| their weakness. You want to be understood and loved in spite of your shortcomings, but you are | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| no longer dread the abyss of not being loved in return -- or as much as you | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| As you thus grow and mature, not being loved, or being disapproved of, will not upset you | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| from the abyss of illusion that not being loved spells terror. Broadly speaking, this is the way | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| observing some very selfish and undeveloped persons being loved and living in pleasant surroundings, would that mean | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| talks, we discussed the legitimate desire to be loved. We also discussed how the immature part of | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| is, the more he or she craves being loved without taking the apparent risk of loving. The | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| to love, the greater your desire to be loved becomes. The greater the discrepancy, the more you | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| are unwilling to give. Your desire to be loved is legitimate only if you are prepared to | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| to claim one does not wish to be loved. Some people have withdrawn so far and found | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| -- have a proportionately great desire to be loved. This is an equation and must come out | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| you love, you should not desire to be loved. But your desire will be less strenuous, less | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| of loving produces the urgent desire to be loved, approved of, and so on, the more rigidly | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| For instance, if you ardently desire to be loved by or to impress a particular person, you | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| all-black view in you. Your urgency to be loved by a specific person causes the illusory construction | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| You will come to see that not being loved to the desired degree is a consequence of | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| to atone for this guilt, as though being loved were a confirmation that the hidden voice of | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| creatures are. Its impossible wants are: to be loved by all, to be loved totally, to have | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| are: to be loved by all, to be loved totally, to have every wish gratified instantly, and | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| have every wish gratified instantly, and to be loved in spite of its unreasonableness and selfishness. This | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| there seems no danger to you in being loved. Letting go of the self-willed forcing current results | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| frequently mentioned how the child desires to be loved exclusively and without limits. In other words, the | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| In other words, the child's desire to be loved is unrealistic. Yet it is also true that | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| repetition, will you no longer cry to be loved by the parent. Instead, you will look for | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| need and want. In not demanding to be loved as a child, you will be equally willing | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| you will find the hurt of not being loved. When you experience the hurt of not being | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| When you experience the hurt of not being loved in your current dilemma, it will serve to | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| so. You will no longer need to be loved as you needed to be loved when you | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| to be loved as you needed to be loved when you were a child. First you become | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| unfaithfulness by your own childish craving to be loved instead of giving love maturely, by your fears | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| your desire to be happy, or to be loved. Being loved is a necessary requirement for being | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| to be happy, or to be loved. Being loved is a necessary requirement for being happy and | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| take the place of your desire to be loved; it may also be an additional factor. There | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| simply mean that your will is to be loved and admired. At other times you may feel | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| you really wish, that you can never be loved and respected, that life and the world is | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| is the desire for love -- to be loved and to love -- both realistic and unrealistic | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| many varieties. There is the desire to be loved and the rejection of love. There is the | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| you are, in order to belong, to be loved and accepted, it also applies to negative emotions | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| will then belong and be accepted, admired and loved. Then, after making your choice, you will learn | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| love and the childish craving need to be loved. With the help of this awareness you free | 81 CONFLICTS IN THE WORLD OF DUALITY |
| issues ultimately lead to the question of being loved versus not being loved, and therefore to life | 82 THE CONQUEST OF DUALITY SYMBOLIZED IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JESUS |
| the question of being loved versus not being loved, and therefore to life versus death. When, from | 82 THE CONQUEST OF DUALITY SYMBOLIZED IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JESUS |
| you had the impression you were no longer loved. No wonder badness associated itself with punishment and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| The feeling is, If only I would be loved, everything would be all right. In other words | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| no longer valid. In the search to be loved -- apart from the craving for pleasure supreme | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| there is the element of, I must be loved, so that I can believe in my own | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| self-image simultaneously demand one to love and be loved by everyone and to conquer them. For such | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| On the one hand, the need to be loved is very strong. But on the other side | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| just as much as he craves to be loved. So the temper tantrum may be a combination | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| a human being feels threatened by not being loved, admired, approved of or agreed with, the danger | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| in the unconscious belief that they will be loved and thus receive pleasure. The third pseudo-solution, namely | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| their self-effacement is offered in return for being loved. Because their self-effacement takes the place of loving | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| because you would be criticized and therefore not loved. So you develop a double guilt: one over | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| it is possible to belong and to be loved while you dull your world of feeling into | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| and not about the childish need to be loved and cherished which is so often confused with | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| in certain directions. The real need for being loved was already repressed by the time the image | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| have to be successful in order to be loved. And: Approval for my professional work is one | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| work is one and the same as being loved. Images of this sort are quite frequent. But | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| formed. If the man in the example is loved anyway, a little investigation would prove that the | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| real need of this person is to be loved and to love; to have a real, meaningful | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| will be unhappy, or disapproved of, or not loved. Or, the fear is, If the other person | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| your soul you have a craving to be loved. When this craving reaches your awareness, it is | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| aware of his or her need to be loved, and yet the heart is devoid of loving | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| do not love, but merely expect to be loved. You do not see that others, too, have | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| will find first the stringent need to be loved just as the child needs to receive love | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| cannot be said that the need to be loved is childish and immature. It is only so | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| the truth came out, you would not be loved and worthy of respect, and you defend yourself | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| harm you, unless you think you cannot be loved and respected if something to be criticized is | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| to love. Since you do want to be loved, your main concern has been your lack of | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| point of view. What if you have really loved and yet were rebuffed, rejected? Many of you | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| fear is that those he loves, all his loved ones, are hostile toward each other. And if | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| the spirit world. Yet we know that our loved ones are developing too. They, too, are working | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| receiving love as a child wants to be loved. Second, they have to find the distorted concepts | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| All they feel is their need to be loved which they confuse with genuine feelings of affection | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| I wanted to ask about restitution to the loved ones in the spirit world. Apart from what | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| and are good to that person, that this loved person will not be affected by the selfishness | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| do to one, you do to another. The loved one is as much affected as you yourself | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| Mature adults do not wait helplessly to be loved, however. Love comes to them by their own | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| decisions; self-confidence; the ability to love and be loved; the ability to receive and to give; the | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| thereby seems to renounce the privilege of being loved, which he erroneously believes is given only to | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| be ashamed when you are told you are loved as a child, but don't feel it. GUIDE | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| principle. Hence, when the baby is caressed, fed, loved, it experiences acute physical pleasure in contact with | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| I am not ready to love and be loved. But I know that love is a universal | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| emotionally dependent in her excessive need of being loved and approved, or mentally dependent in order to | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| love, or one's need to love and be loved? Doesn't self-forgetting create stronger needs which may be | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| manifest as fear of the loss of a loved one. And so can fear of losing one's | 123 LIBERATION AND PEACE BY OVERCOMING FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN |
| consideration as the self. Others can be liked, loved, and esteemed as oneself -- but never at | 127 EVOLUTION'S FOUR STAGES: AUTOMATIC REFLEXES, AWARENESS, UNDERSTANDING, KNOWING |
| field, it may be a happy relationship, being loved and fulfilled on all levels of your being | 128 LIMITATIONS CREATED THROUGH ILLUSORY ALTERNATIVES |
| I will believe in the possibility of being loved. I sincerely wish to become acutely aware of | 128 LIMITATIONS CREATED THROUGH ILLUSORY ALTERNATIVES |
| own immediate advantage for the sake of a loved one, without forever giving up all your rights | 129 WINNER VERSUS LOSER: INTERPLAY BETWEEN THE SELF AND CREATIVE FORCES |
| that people consciously wish to be accepted and loved, but unconsciously, they cannot respond to a completely | 135 MOBILITY IN RELAXATION-SUFFERING THROUGH ATTACHMENT OF LIFE FORCE TO NEGATIVE SITUATIONS |
| people feel too secure in being accepted and loved, they lose the spark of interest. This, too | 135 MOBILITY IN RELAXATION-SUFFERING THROUGH ATTACHMENT OF LIFE FORCE TO NEGATIVE SITUATIONS |
| fearlessly. At the same time, you free the loved one. You do not force, you do not | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| need not fear to love and to be loved. You must realize, in this frame of mind | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| self-effacing submission, self-destruction for the sake of the loved one. To be loved, in the distorted version | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| the sake of the loved one. To be loved, in the distorted version, is to possess and | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| distorted version, is to possess and control the loved one completely. Hence the fear that to love | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| of not being able to control -- being loved -- lead to the false version of letting | 137 BALANCE OF INNER AND OUTER CONTROL |
| companionship, intimacy, and the knowledge that you are loved as you are, because you love as you | 138 THE HUMAN PREDICAMENT OF DESIRE FOR, AND FEAR OF, CLOSENESS |
| seems to be guaranteed when you are totally loved, accepted, and served by others, and you hope | 143 UNITY AND DUALITY |
| am selfish, I will be rejected, despised, not loved, left alone. And that is suffering too. In | 145 RESPONDING TO THE CALL OF LIFE |
| the path I found out that I never loved anything or anyone; my only way of loving | 146 POSITIVE CONCEPT OF LIFE-FEARLESSNESS TO LOVE-BALANCE BETWEEN ACTIVITY AND PASSIVITY |
| desires for the rights and desires of the loved one. So the way out seems to deny | 147 THE NATURE OF LIFE AND HUMAN NATURE |
| for so long. This one-sided insistence on being loved by a person one deeply resents and wishes | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| case exist in the feeling of not being loved; in another, in the fear of being left | 167 FROZEN LIFE CENTER BECOMES ALIVE |
| of pain, and the pain of not being loved and protected, warmed and accepted. The conditions are | 167 FROZEN LIFE CENTER BECOMES ALIVE |
| that they would love if only they were loved first, and that it is dreadfully dangerous to | 179 CHAIN REACTIONS IN THE DYNAMICS OF CREATIVE LIFE SUBSTANCE |
| through severe changes outwardly. You have lost a loved one, you may have coped with the most | 183 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF CRISIS |
| power of the blessings. Be in peace my loved ones. 187. (THE WAY TO HANDLE) ALTERNATION OF | 186 VENTURE IN MUTUALITY: HEALING FORCE TO CHANGE NEGATIVE INNER WILL |
| find your true capacity to love and be loved -- not as a mere ideal, or an | 188 AFFECTING AND BEING AFFECTED |
| frustration, to never be criticized, to be always loved and loved your way. Until you recognize and | 191 INNER AND OUTER EXPERIENCE |
| never be criticized, to be always loved and loved your way. Until you recognize and abandon these | 191 INNER AND OUTER EXPERIENCE |
| will be less dependent on being praised and loved because they will be able to give themselves | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| be confused with the neurotic need to be loved. But this confusion between the two needs is | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| it invariably says: I need to be always loved and approved of by everyone. If I am | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| with the unfulfillment of your demand to be loved and approved of by everybody is vague. The | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| on appreciation and approval from others, on being loved, and on being successful in terms of the | 204 WHAT IS THE PATH? |
| receptive to it. You are all blessed and loved. 207. THE SPIRITUAL SYMBOLISM AND SIGNIFICANCE OF SEXUALITY | 206 DESIRE: CREATIVE OR DESTRUCTIVE |
| feelings will make you equally secure about being loved. You will experience the deep satisfaction of giving | 210 VISUALIZATION PROCESS FOR GROWING INTO THE UNITIVE STATE |
| this demand because you cannot stand not being loved. Aren't you entitled to love? Doesn't the universe | 213 THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PRACTICAL MEANING OF LET GO, LET GOD |
| mentioned the apparent conflict of wanting to be loved, respected and appreciated and your pushing for it | 213 THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PRACTICAL MEANING OF LET GO, LET GOD |
| richness. You are entitled to want to be loved, or to have money, or to have fulfillment | 213 THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PRACTICAL MEANING OF LET GO, LET GOD |
| -- and/or risk the possible loss of the loved one. You hope to avoid all risks, discomforts | 215 PSYCHIC NUCLEAR POINTS CONTINUED -- PROCESS IN THE NOW |
| but they are not any more lovable or loved than you are. Allow yourself to know that | 219 CHRISTMAS MESSAGE -- MESSAGE TO THE CHILDREN |
| harsh word does not mean you are not loved. The important thing is that you know you | 219 CHRISTMAS MESSAGE -- MESSAGE TO THE CHILDREN |
| anything, that you are protected and guided and loved, you have to see what these fears are | 219 CHRISTMAS MESSAGE -- MESSAGE TO THE CHILDREN |
| helped out of this state is to be loved. But when love is given to you, no | 233 THE POWER OF THE WORD |
| fallacy of the thought that if you were loved you could then also love, no longer has | 233 THE POWER OF THE WORD |
| movement of the word, will loving and being loved become a oneness, and not an impossible division | 233 THE POWER OF THE WORD |
| in this meeting. You are all blessed, my loved ones. This most poetic lecture was given in | 235 THE ANATOMY OF CONTRACTION |
| is courage. To love is courage because the loved one may not always respond according to your | 236 THE SUPERSTITION OF PESSIMISM |
| truth can bring truth; only the loving and loved ones can give love. Let yourself experience this | 238 THE PULSE OF LIFE ON ALL LEVELS OF MANIFESTATION |
| experience strong sexual feelings for the woman he loved, honored, and respected. Sometimes the unconscious fear of | 251 THE EVOLUTION AND SPIRITUAL MEANING OF MARRIAGE -- NEW AGE MARRIAGE |
| finds himself unable to experience sexuality with a loved woman. In many cases, however, the split exists | 251 THE EVOLUTION AND SPIRITUAL MEANING OF MARRIAGE -- NEW AGE MARRIAGE |
| you essentially desire to share with all your loved ones needs to be kept to yourself until | 252 PRIVACY AND SECRECY |
| keeps to prepare a lovely surprise for a loved one. This is not really a secret, for | 252 PRIVACY AND SECRECY |
| You will never really know whether you are loved and accepted. You must always fear and distrust | 252 PRIVACY AND SECRECY |