| approval but outright love you need, and this love is not forthcoming, you may be a little | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| consequence of your own problems, the inability to love, and the fear of love. You will also | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| the inability to love, and the fear of love. You will also recognize that for a long | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| the state of being willing and able to love. Hence, reality and the capacity to love are | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| to love. Hence, reality and the capacity to love are directly connected. We also know that the | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| that the forcing current reduces your capacity to love. This fact must become quite clear to you | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| also how you need to force others to love you in order to atone for this guilt | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| emptiness within you due to your unwillingness to love, which you would balance by making others love | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| love, which you would balance by making others love you. For all these reasons, the forcing current | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| she or he wants. You will approach mature love in such a state of mind; you will | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| is widespread confusion about the meaning of mature love. Although we have touched on some points of | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| You often labor under the misconception that true love means to give up your self-respect and dignity | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| is that the remedy lies in withdrawing from love altogether. So you fluctuate between the two extremes | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| concerned and has no more to do with love than the opposite extreme, or you withdraw into | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| last analysis, it is always a question of love. Your desire for love and the lack of | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| always a question of love. Your desire for love and the lack of it is the result | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you all know, at least theoretically and intellectually, love is the greatest power in the universe. Every | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| every religion, even modern psychology proclaims this truth. Love is the one and only power. With it | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you discover where deep inside yourself you cannot love, you do not want to love, and you | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you cannot love, you do not want to love, and you do not know why you resist | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| this particular knowledge, the great eternal truth about love remains a lofty ideal you cannot possibly apply | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| angles. We now know that those who cannot love are immature. Immaturity causes unreality. Unreality, being untrue | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| ignorance. Thus, maturity is really the ability to love. We also discussed that the child in you | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| child in you requires an unlimited amount of love. The child is as unreasonable, as void of | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| surrender from others, being sure that this means love, how can it help but resist total surrender | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| reign supreme over those who are supposed to love you, and who become thereby hardly better than | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| refers to certain emotional reactions. This happens if love, acceptance, and agreement from a particular person become | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| such submissive behavior seem superficially to resemble true love, it is easy, especially when you are in | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| that when you submit is when you truly love. In other words, you often unconsciously create your | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| unconsciously create your own inner concept of what love is, which parallels the general concepts of love | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| love is, which parallels the general concepts of love, at least in outer appearance, taught in some | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| Your concern is to convince the other to love you according to your childish concept. He or | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| demand in your psyche you are afraid to love? Since your concept -- and being unconscious it | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| is all the more powerful -- is that love means slavish submission, you do not wish to | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| means slavish submission, you do not wish to love. You do not wish to follow another person's | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you recognize your own unconscious childish distortion about love will you be able to sense or recognize | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| that in such a case another kind of love can be given that is much more detached | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| it. You will realize that this misconception of love has nothing whatever to do with real love | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| love has nothing whatever to do with real love. Once you understand that, you will no longer | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| that, you will no longer be afraid to love. When you realize that love does not mean | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| be afraid to love. When you realize that love does not mean giving up dignity, self-government, and | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| therefore able, gradually and little by little, to love maturely, you will expect the same in return | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| up your childish idea of how others should love you, you will not fear loving others. In | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you will not immediately experience the great, encompassing love your soul strives for. For, it is one | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| of your soul that you yearn for such love and at the same time hide from it | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| you can only reach the final fulfillment of love by starting on the lower steps of its | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| being, without having to possess his or her love and admiration. This is a decisive step, my | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| apply the great concepts of universal truth about love in your practical everyday life, right here and | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| that goal is attainable. Before you can truly love others, you have to learn to like and | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| done that at all. As already explained, ideal love often appears deceptively similar to the wrong, weak | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| to the wrong, weak submissiveness which poses as love. It is this sham that frightens you -- | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| this sham that frightens you -- never real love. But it is impossible to sense real love | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| love. But it is impossible to sense real love merely by hearing about it. You have to | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| refrain from wholly loving. For how can you love as exclusively as you feel you ought to | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| and I do not merely refer to the love relationship between man and woman -- but this | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| and in doubt. You prohibit your capacity to love due to, first, your inability to distinguish between | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| to, first, your inability to distinguish between true love and weak submissiveness, because this is what you | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| what you desire from those who are to love you, and, second, the lack of trust in | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| ignorance, you shy away from the kind of love you could be capable of giving right now | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| capable of giving right now, and, when such love is given to you, you dismiss it. As | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| gain a more overall view with regard to love, maturity, creativity. This does not mean that we | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| Illusion and what you have been saying about love and creativity, our self-responsibility lies in the acceptance | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| in the acceptance of the re-expression of that love and creativity, which has it source in God | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| the unknown. This again ties in basically with love and trust as you mentioned tonight. ANSWER: You | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| Book of Splendor) there is a comparison of love and fear of God to the wings of | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| respect paid to the highest intelligence, wisdom and love is beyond words. In the presence of such | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| May you find the way to maturity and love by finding where, how, and why you do | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| finding where, how, and why you do not love now. May you find the courage to free | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| free yourself of this unnecessary burden of fearing love and life. Go in peace, my dearest friends | 72 THE FEAR OF LOVING |
| about the fear of loving. The subject of love was presented at great length and from various | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| child would be very satisfied with real mature love. In fact, if it were given, the unrealistic | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| it were given, the unrealistic demand for exclusive love would be diminished considerably. However, the capacity for | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| considerably. However, the capacity for tendering genuine mature love is rare. Since children so seldom receive sufficient | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| rare. Since children so seldom receive sufficient mature love and warmth, they continue to hunger for it | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| and that people would learn to practice mature love. The remedy lies solely in you. True, if | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| in you. True, if you had received such love from your parents, you would be without this | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| fully aware. But this lack of receiving mature love need trouble neither you nor your life if | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| you will also be able to extend mature love to others -- to your children, if you | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| one parent offers a sufficient degree of mature love. Even if one parent has it to some | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| very likely the other does not. Since mature love on this earth is only present to a | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| parents are emotionally immature and cannot give the love the child craves, or give it only in | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| on childhood convinced that you had all the love you wanted just because you actually did have | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| wanted just because you actually did have some love. There are a number of parents who give | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| number of parents who give great demonstrations of love. They may overindulge their children. Such spoiling and | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| of apology for a deeply suspected inability to love maturely. Children feel the truth very acutely. They | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| children keenly feel the difference between mature, genuine love and the immature, over-demonstrative variety offered instead. Proper | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| due to guilt because real, giving, warming, comforting love is absent in their own immature personalities. Other | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| with them. No matter how much you may love your parents, an unconscious resentment exists in you | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| this conflict between your longing for a perfect love from your parents and your resentment against them | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| remedy the situation is in your choice of love partners. Unconsciously you will know how to choose | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| who has particularly fallen short in affection and love that is real and genuine. But you also | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| and for whom you had little or no love. So you seek the parents again -- in | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| it is an illusion that the lack of love, sad as that may have been when you | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| make it as impossible to receive the mature love you rightfully long for now as it was | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| the parent-partner will now yield, whereas in reality love cannot come that way. Only when you are | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| a child, you will be equally willing to love. However, the child in you finds this impossible | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| then you no longer seek this kind of love. Since you are no longer a child, you | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| are no longer a child, you will seek love in a different way, by giving it instead | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| give up all expectations and all desire for love. Needless to say, this is neither genuine nor | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| me to understand that one continually chooses a love object who has exactly the same negative trends | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| a similar kind of immaturity and incapacity to love. That alone is sufficient and potent enough in | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| anger, your hostility, your withdrawal from giving out love and affection, all these trends of the child | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| maturity is the willingness and the capability to love. It seems to me that intellectual maturity must | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| How can you find out if someone you love is really faithful to you? Genuine, mature love | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| love is really faithful to you? Genuine, mature love is loving without asking. Is it mature to | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| to go on loving someone who is in love also with someone else? ANSWER: This question cannot | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| this partner the free and spontaneous expression of love may be paralyzed and inhibited. Yet because this | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| childish craving to be loved instead of giving love maturely, by your fears and inhibitions and shame | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| this question meant was: If you are in love with a person who is in love with | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| in love with a person who is in love with you, but also with someone else, is | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| someone else, is it mature to stay in love with such a partner? ANSWER: Well, I think | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| so divided within that he finds himself in love with two partners, both of these partners must | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| possible. To say, I must not be in love, is in vain. You can only change a | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| selfish and very much lacking in maturity and love. Here we have to agree on what being | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| the Most Holy. Receive our strength and our love to help you further on the path, to | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| state of isolation, many creative forces, such as love or talents, try to stream out of you | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| individuals. If you can give some manner of love to those few, you are already a step | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| with the special blessing of Christ who was love, and is love, and who will always be | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| blessing of Christ who was love, and is love, and who will always be love, I leave | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| and is love, and who will always be love, I leave you with strength and our love | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| love, I leave you with strength and our love, and with our wishes that you may continue | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| with yourself. Self-honesty is the first step toward love. So be blessed, my dearest ones, be in | 75 THE GREAT TRANSITION IN HUMAN DEVELOPMENT FROM ISOLATION TO UNION |
| entail joy, fulfillment, and development. The fear of love and its risks is a sign of emotional | 76 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS (Compiled from Private Sessions and Earlier Lectures) |
| By the same token, the relative perfection and love of one teacher may be used as an | 76 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS (Compiled from Private Sessions and Earlier Lectures) |
| you are not unhappy if everyone does not love and admire you, you are not unhappy if | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| are submissive you cling, and hope for the love of others. To obtain it, you forsake your | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| rationalization of unselfishness, sacrifice, and your ability to love. In truth, you just use the forcing current | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| say, If I submit to you, you must love me and do my will. Although outwardly you | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| understand it. Submission must never be confused with love. It may look similar, but the inner content | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| no more real than the submissive kind of love. Another way of coping with the basic will | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| manipulating the other person to feel obligated to love and obey you. Or else, if you fear | 77 SELF-CONFIDENCE: ITS TRUE ORIGIN AND WHAT PROHIBITS IT |
| in that you realize the glory of God's love and wisdom. The better you understand your own | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| just law that is mercy, grace, wisdom and love. COMMENT: May I add something too? In Matthew | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| Inner desire for development. ANSWER: The fire of love. The burning of being alive, of action, of | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| way. It contains all of what you said. Love, sacrifice, purification, everything -- that spark, that burning | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| the one hand, there is the desire for love -- to be loved and to love -- | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| for love -- to be loved and to love -- both realistic and unrealistic, mature and immature | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| functioning within yourself. For instance, the desire for love is quite legitimate. But if this desire is | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| admiration, unconsciously believing that thereby you also gain love. In reality the aggressive force, in its healthy | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| cause interference and mutual exclusiveness. The desire for love and healthy aggression are meant to live peacefully | 78 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| desire to be loved and the rejection of love. There is the basic instinct to live and | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| demonstrated victory over the opposites by integration through love and sacrifice. This is meant in the healthy | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| for salvation and real solution, and that is love and truth. Neither love nor truth can be | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| solution, and that is love and truth. Neither love nor truth can be part of your entire | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| areas in you where you are not in love and in truth. Only such work can produce | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| In your unconscious you believe you must have love, affection, and attention. It is not a question | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| you, and in spite of your desire for love and communication, you could not help but repulse | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| you from drawing the wrong conclusion that your love is rejected and that, as a result, you | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| exaggerated craving has nothing to do with healthy love, and that the former is actually the reason | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| yourself from hurt and disappointment when you do love, nor will you need to guard against loving | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |