| you wants to grab, the other because the child conforms and obeys, rather than acting out of | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| not yet recognized by me. ANSWER: My dear child, I will be very happy to make contact | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| as you know, is that of remaining a child. Your fear is part of the helpless baby | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| is very distorted. In the crassest case, the child may emotionally experience the parents as either good | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| if the experience is not so extreme, the child focuses only on certain aspects or tendencies of | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| another, both selfish and also unselfish? Yet the child in you does not perceive that. For the | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| in you does not perceive that. For the child, it is either one or the other but | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| feared and hated most when you were a child, perhaps still exist in you as one who | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| You feel it is your duty as a child to continue to do so. Not glorifying your | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| work. It is so much easier for the child in you to have everything well ordered. A | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| there are no fixed rules, is something the child in you would rather not cope with. So | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| regarding this subject? QUESTION: When parents give the child an unreal, or perhaps real, feeling of rejection | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| unreal, or perhaps real, feeling of rejection, the child feels unworthy of love and therefore establishes a | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| powerful super-creatures. It does not occur to the child that they are human beings groping to solve | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| you understand? QUESTION: I understand. Still, when a child is set in this pattern of self-rejection and | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| You were attached to it only because the child in you believed there was nothing else. But | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| may have a special quality to give the child something it needs. Also, the child may have | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| give the child something it needs. Also, the child may have been born free of this particular | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| let us briefly recapitulate. To begin with, the child suffers from imperfections in the parents' love and | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| I mean the common practice of treating a child as a child, rather than as a particular | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| common practice of treating a child as a child, rather than as a particular individual. You suffer | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| destructive defenses. The original pain and frustration the child could not deal with is repressed. It is | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| if you die in this life as a child, at one period or another of your spiritual | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| merely the pain you once experienced as a child? Is it really the frustration the child suffered | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| a child? Is it really the frustration the child suffered from the parents, and nothing more? No | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| stringent need to be loved just as the child needs to receive love and affection. However, it | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| living upon yourself, you wish to remain the child who waits helplessly for life to fulfill its | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| to say: Here the either/or attitude of the child prevails. The child in you feels that if | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| the either/or attitude of the child prevails. The child in you feels that if you are in | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| also based on the principle of either/or. The child in you feels that if you are happy | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| automatic processes in every human being. Even a child will have automatic reactions without having been taught | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| something constructive. Yet, you are the craving, needy child who wants to be the center of the | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| Have I caused an inner problem in this child due to my own imperfection? How can I | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| and that this understanding will also help the child. Understanding without moralizing. QUESTION: Is there such a | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| strongly. QUESTION: Is it nature's plan that a child develops a reaction, a neurosis against a parent | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| could be so much more constructive if the child could be educated according to teachings such as | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| facing of what is, were cultivated in the child, there would be no conflict between two unsatisfactory | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| truth for the sake of right behavior. The child could be encouraged from the beginning to develop | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| in one's omnipotence? ANSWER: Yes, of course. The child who wants to be infallible exists in every | 106 SADNESS VERSUS DEPRESSION -- RELATIONSHIP |
| for the purpose of receiving love as a child wants to be loved. Second, they have to | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| find that this voice belongs to a greedy child that wants to receive everything but give nothing | 108 FUNDAMENTAL GUILT FOR NOT LOVING -- OBLIGATIONS |
| lives. One can be a parent and a child, an employee and employer. On top of that | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| magazine about miracles. This story said that a child broke a wooden madonna and in kissing the | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| it to do with the spirit of the child in question? ANSWER: This would only be one | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| further development and inner growth. When a new child enters this earth, its soul-stuff is very malleable | 111 SOUL-SUBSTANCE -- COPING WITH DEMANDS |
| its very nature, very impressionable. Therefore, when the child collects impressions during its early years, their impact | 111 SOUL-SUBSTANCE -- COPING WITH DEMANDS |
| dependent on interpretation by others, but a young child is dependent on the interpretation given by adults | 111 SOUL-SUBSTANCE -- COPING WITH DEMANDS |
| feelings have a much stronger influence on the child than the words. Whatever the child's mind really | 111 SOUL-SUBSTANCE -- COPING WITH DEMANDS |
| the infant is born and grows into a child, its ego is still so weak that it | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| As we have discussed in other contexts, the child is dependent on the more powerful adult world | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| to laws similar to the physical laws. The child is dependent not only for its physical existence | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| in life. But the weak ego of the child is in reality dependent. The mature adult is | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| important to understand this, my friends. For the child, positive identification is desirable. For an adult, a | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| yourself you are still as weak as a child. As long as you have not understood your | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| everything in you that belongs to the hurt child in you. Why do people resist becoming aware | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| hope that it is possible to remain a child. Children seem to have the advantage of being | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| out how this applies to you. As a child is helpless, so is an invalid. Both depend | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| The resisting psyche is therefore not only the child that has not yet grown up, but is | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| from hurts; and, third, insistence on remaining a child because then others are responsible for your needs | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| the times when you felt similarly as a child. Then synchronize these two feelings. But it is | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| though it was formed when you were a child. You will see to what extent you are | 115 PERCEPTION, DETERMINATION, LOVE AS ASPECTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| your findings. Consider how you felt as a child toward each parent, then see how in your | 115 PERCEPTION, DETERMINATION, LOVE AS ASPECTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| demands and the demands of the primitive, self-centered child you still harbor within, you are torn apart | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| the superimposed conscience and the primitive, self-centered, destructive child is a tragic one -- tragic only because | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| comes from not being reconciled with the self-centered child. It continues to make unfair demands you cannot | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| of sight. Accept fully the primitive, selfish, destructive child in order to make it grow up. The | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| actually are those of the parents or the child merely believes that. So the child begins a | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| or the child merely believes that. So the child begins a process of false, pretended, superficial adherence | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| a desire not to give up being a child, despite the equally strong wish to grow up | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| grow up. The insistence on remaining a cared-for child necessitates your holding on to the superimposed standards | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| paralyzed by the fight between the primitive little child in you and the superimposed conscience. If you | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| pent-up hostility does not communicate itself to the child. They follow the new values by using indulgence | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| and are not farsighted enough to restrict the child, if necessary, then their guilt, confusion and inability | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| inability to cope with the problems that a child represents will create an inner disturbance. To atone | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| or irritation, parents may overindulge and pamper their child. The child may experience this as favorable and | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| parents may overindulge and pamper their child. The child may experience this as favorable and pleasurable at | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| a clear, unconfused psyche. The effect on the child depends on whether it is one or the | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| words, just as the parent may overindulge the child to substitute for feeling irritated, and unwilling to | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| irritated, and unwilling to tackle the problems the child has, so may the child use the compulsive | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| the problems the child has, so may the child use the compulsive need for overindulgence to compensate | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| yourself to uncover the hurts and frustrations. A child is apt to take for granted, and as | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| a permanent condition, what it experiences. If the child is hurt, it may suffer from it, rebel | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| suffer from it, rebel against it, but a child cannot evaluate its life circumstances in objective terms | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| Both are part of the general climate the child does not question. Therefore you need considerable probing | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| the same love in a man, later. The child may experience the love for the father, almost | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| through their guilt, are particularly indulgent toward a child when it is sick, the child will want | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| toward a child when it is sick, the child will want the sickness in order to get | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| you are told you are loved as a child, but don't feel it. GUIDE: Yes. QUESTION: Shame | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| guilt, and guilt without shame. PARTICIPANT: When the child receives an allowance and he feels guilty for | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| PARTICIPANT: I know a case of an adopted child where the parents gave the child too much | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| an adopted child where the parents gave the child too much leeway, continuously admiring it. This was | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| to lack of real love. Later, when the child was about eighteen years old, he became even | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| could not gratify these demands. I think the child was ashamed of not having his real parents | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| life, it indicates a desire to remain a child. It indicates greed and lack of self-responsibility. This | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| advantages of childhood. The desire to be a child, as well as anger for the frustration, must | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| matter. The pretense not only hides what the child felt to be missing in its life, but | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| questions pertaining to this lecture? QUESTION: If a child was a favorite and in a privileged position | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| diametrically opposed to one's idealized self. If the child held this special position because it was a | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| this special position because it was a good child, being good then becomes an integral part of | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| in this relationship. The double relationship from the child to both father and mother is another symbol | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| symbolized in your attitudes to both parents. The child, starting a new life cycle, contains its personal | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| fully reacted to your husband or wife, your child or friend as their own selves but rather | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| sexual drive in a way appropriate for a child. Children are antisocial, self- centered, and therefore excluding | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| your own childhood. As I mentioned before, the child experiences intense pleasure in contact with his or | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| such feelings are labeled sinful and perverse. The child soon absorbs these ideas, even when they are | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| precisely the opposite of the intended effect. The child would naturally outgrow these feelings, but guilt, shame | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| sexual fulfillment. On the other hand, if the child did not receive the fulfillment it longed for | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| a factor as you might think, because the child alleviates the pain by allowing the pleasure principle | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| something that is hard to accept. The ignorant child, believing it has to hide, reacts very strongly | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| taming the primitive and self-centered instincts. If the child were self-sufficient and independent while possessing self-centered drives | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| as a true inner development and conviction. A child will hit a smaller child because it wants | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| and conviction. A child will hit a smaller child because it wants the latter's possessions. To an | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| simultaneously even needing the stronger ones. When the child leaves infancy behind and enters childhood proper, it | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| be lacking, but at least by gesture, the child learns to get along with others. Similarly, at | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| the point of view of crisis. When the child is being born, it is not only a | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| into the world, away from seclusion. When the child starts school, this is again a step into | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| the world, toward selfhood, away from seclusion. The child begins to learn responsibility; for the first time | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| harboring problem areas in which the selfish ruling child reigns. The world, your earth sphere, is the | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| will improve. In the past, while in the child and young adolescent stage, it was often difficult | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| capable of taking this inner direction as a child, and hardly even as an adolescent. In adolescence | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| that the human organism goes through when a child reaches puberty. At such periods, the entity discovers | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| a no without becoming an angry or hurt child within yourself, then your independence and self- respect | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| have the courage to allow your unreasonable inner child to manifest on the surface. To the extent | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| by the following chain-reaction: facing the selfish, greedy child within you brings liberation, dignity, and strength which | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| I spoke about the immediacy of the selfish child dwelling to some extent in all individuals. But | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| Only when you honestly face this inner little child, as it truly exists, can it begin to | 122 SELF-FULFILLMENT THROUGH SELF-REALIZATION AS MAN OR WOMAN |
| the frustration and pain you suffered as a child, and therefore still suffer often, only now it | 124 THE LANGUAGE OF THE UNCONSCIOUS |
| are more painful than the position of the child you so ferociously defend, then a breakthrough on | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| to indulge in the wishful thinking of the child incapable of giving up the desire for utopia | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| happiness? Is this not another contradiction? The greedy child wants happiness, too. The great power of the | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| attitude is either that of a greedy, self-willed child who demands the fulfillment of all its desires | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| a product of the greedy, fearful, weak, dependent child. The less the person is willing to lose | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| fear. In order to be a good, obedient child, you negate this possibility. You are afraid of | 131 INTERACTION BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND IMPRESSION |
| You speak of the outer self as the child. Is it not the very essence of life | 131 INTERACTION BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND IMPRESSION |
| not the very essence of life that the child must mature? In order for maturity to take | 131 INTERACTION BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND IMPRESSION |
| it might be misleading to believe that the child is necessarily the outer self. This might not | 131 INTERACTION BETWEEN EXPRESSION AND IMPRESSION |