| ready for new eventualities, ready to enjoy, to give and receive, and to experience pleasure and happiness | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| psyche may feel endangered if it were to give vent to it. In such cases the perverted | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| the idealized self-image and the consequent reluctance to give it up. Often, the real self actually manifests | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| and emotions are negative. Therefore you do not give the chance for growth to the parts of | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| might be something either physical or psychological. We give ourselves the excuse, If I do change in | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| to be unworkable and you will come to give it up, little by little. As long as | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| acute insecurity and anxiety when called upon to give up the pseudo-solutions. The function of the instinct | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| ones, along with contradictory underlying emotions. Let me give you an example. Submissive people, always ready to | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| and am so modest about it, people should give me special respect and should love me instead | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| courage to let out your repressions. This will give you the ability to assert yourself and, if | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| flattering, must always be resolved afresh. This will give you the strength to be successful. It will | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| the most crucial crossing, when the temptation to give up is always strongest. Pursue, persist, and persevere | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| is necessary. In the next season I shall give you specific help in this endeavor. You all | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| much contained in it. However, I will briefly give you some clarification on it, from the viewpoint | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| If you ask a personal question, I will give you a personal answer. The guilt feeling comes | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| you; to bring desired results for you; to give you what you could get for yourself if | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| You will no longer hope for God to give you what you should and could be strong | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| enough to obtain for yourself. And this will give you self-respect and security. While you cling to | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| strength and security coming from this attitude will give you an entirely different relationship to God, as | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| experience feeling is synonymous with the capacity to give and receive happiness. To the degree you shy | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| skill also becomes a necessity in order to give the creative outflow full expression. Creative unfoldment is | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| you want happiness you must be willing to give it. How can you give it if you | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| be willing to give it. How can you give it if you are unwilling and unable to | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| a certain physical and mental maturity. Let me give you an example on the physical level: an | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| insistence on remaining deadened and dulled will finally give way and you will no longer object to | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| be aware of what you feel and to give vent to it in action are one and | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| in order to relieve yourself of pressure and give them an outlet without aim or meaning, and | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| way to what you originally wanted. This will give you an inner understanding about the process of | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| keeping or not. You are not forced to give up what seems a protection to you, but | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| cling to the idealized self while struggling to give it up. Once you have accepted yourself as | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| are expressed and worked with. So, I cannot give you rules to observe. I can only point | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| to perfectionistic ideals of yourself, not willing to give them up, the more you will resist displaying | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| Thus criticism will not crush you; rather, will give you new insight into yourself and others. Hence | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| you base your life on something that can give you real security. When you react appropriately to | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| be something quite imaginary and unreal. Let me give you an example of a real need in | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| emotions, and that you will be forced to give in to them. Another reason for resisting is | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| one or the other. Any words I could give you, any rule I could pronounce, would be | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| not yet arrived when humankind is ready to give up killing higher animal species, but it is | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| preoccupation with this subject, this in itself should give rise to suspicion. The predominantly healthy soul will | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| will rather be more determined than ever to give up all inner resistance to face yourself to | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| the road to maturity is the ability to give up being special or grandiose and to accept | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| frustration or unhappiness as a disaster. You will give yourself time to grow. It goes without saying | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| Yes. Prayer is a good way not to give up one's efforts in the right direction. QUESTION | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| should not. This path in itself must eventually give you a very healthy trust in yourself. And | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| confess my faults to another it seems to give them relief and helps them face themselves. Would | 91 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| of repressed needs and contains the inability to give up certain gratifications. This then causes the neurotic | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| torn between them. On the one hand, you give in to the needs, and by submitting, appeasing | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| inability to relinquish. The ability to relinquish will give you strength, self- confidence, and a healthy self-respect | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| and a healthy self-respect that nothing else could give you. And just because this strength develops within | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| because this strength develops within, you can first give up the false, distorted, superimposed, artificial needs, and | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| conditioned responses, which are unreliable and will never give you a feeling of security. Only the capacity | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| help and is recommended. But I have to give you more than advocate prayer. And you have | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| words coming to you from the outside can give you only a theoretical understanding to begin with | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| that women are ungiving, rejecting, and do not give love. Therefore the child feels apprehension and anxiety | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| image the following conclusion: Although women do not give the love and comfort my soul really craves | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| This recognition is of untold value and will give you incredible strength. The search in this direction | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| friends. When you appease or submit, when you give up or allow others to take advantage of | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| them. You bow down to your inability to give in, to lose. That robs you of the | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| find yourself ensnarled in this conflict. You cannot give up the defense that keeps you chained to | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| don't know how to go on. Can you give me a hint? ANSWER: You are in a | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| only alleviate some of the pain, but will give you a clear directive as to how to | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| part of you is beginning to want to give up childhood. When this movement is predominant, you | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| which makes you, at least partly, prepared to give up childhood. QUESTION: You said some time ago | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| so well for you. QUESTION: Would you also give an example of how to relinquish a need | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| this perspective it should also be easier to give up your resistance to relinquishing, because your own | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| in that you believe you are expected to give up any kind of selfishness. Therefore you rebel | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| are incapable of changing. Maturity enables you to give up and let go of what you do | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| does not exist -- I should like to give an overall understanding of your current work. I | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| you will become aware of the need to give. You may need to give what you need | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| the need to give. You may need to give what you need to receive, but the emphasis | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| emphasis in your emotions changes. The need to give love, rather than to receive it, enters more | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| your real needs -- to receive and to give -- and to stand the temporary frustration, you | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| to humor it and deny it. Do not give in to the voices of this little self | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| And then you have to be willing to give up what you want to gain through pretense | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| to yourself -- even this negative finding will give you the experience of reality, thus of the | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| do with you. Once you change course and give up the resistance to seeing how you created | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| to remain in order to be safe. To give up being a helpless, fearful baby means to | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| inner reason and necessity. QUESTION: You used to give me homework. Can you give me something now | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| You used to give me homework. Can you give me something now? ANSWER: There are phases on | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| the feeling will be right. QUESTION: Can you give us suggestions for interpreting dreams? ANSWER: I am | 96 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS; COMMENTS ON LAZINESS AS SYMPTOM OF SELF-ALIENATION |
| place, it would be difficult for them to give a meaningful answer. In such vague hopes and | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| for instance the capacity to experience and to give joy. You cannot give joy if you are | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| to experience and to give joy. You cannot give joy if you are not a joyful person | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| you accept imperfection, the more joy you will give and receive. Your capacity for happiness depends on | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| loss or disapproval -- will you derive and give joy in the relationship. Only through accepting your | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| their still existing imperfection, or that they must give up striving for progress entirely. To accept imperfection | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| to be your real self. This practice will give you a very different outlook on certain problems | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| factors, if transposed into healthy currents, can still give you fulfillment, perhaps not exactly in the same | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| live a fuller and happier life, and thus give more happiness. You will wish to override your | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| love, or pure being. Each little victory may give you an occasional glimpse of the great freedom | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| you can verify that you are disinclined to give to others, and even where you give you | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| to give to others, and even where you give you do so only out of duty, the | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| as it still seems necessary. Your psyche will give it up to the degree that you learn | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| one needs courage and flexibility; one has to give up the need to control everything, throw away | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| in fantasy. But it is quite impossible to give a simple answer. QUESTION: Isn't it often the | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| exist of which the person is unaware. I give you blessings, each and every one of you | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| and personalities in their whole dimension -- will give you insight and understanding about your own life | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| any questions regarding this subject? QUESTION: When parents give the child an unreal, or perhaps real, feeling | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| are unable to establish constructive patterns that will give you reason to feel secure in yourself now | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| delinquent parent may have a special quality to give the child something it needs. Also, the child | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| clings to it and does not want to give it up. Healthy pleasure seems hopelessly unattainable. In | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| to deny your right of selfhood, and you give in, agreeing with the world, and make pleasure | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| the answer -- and no answer can ever give inner liberation. Inner liberation can come only from | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| know what to do about it. Can you give me a hint? ANSWER: Yes, my dear. I | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| my dear. I believe the next step will give you the answer why you have rejected pleasure | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| I said to you tonight, and may it give you courage and strength to pass through the | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| meaning of this pain, I should like to give you an overall view of the process for | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| and conflicts as well. I shall attempt to give you a comprehensive view of the entire process | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| withhold from them the love you want to give them and that they want to receive from | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| aware of them to be inwardly ready to give them up. Some of you have actually reached | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| grow in his or her own capacity to give love, so that the need to receive remains | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| defense mechanisms of various sorts, your ability to give could never grow within your psyche. However, during | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| destructive levels. This has allowed your ability to give love to surface, even though you may not | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| receive. On the other hand, the need to give cannot find an outlet until this stage is | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| aware that your needs are exactly both to give and to receive. You need to feel and | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| taken place within you, the mature need to give has also grown. Before, you could not find | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| have, of late, occasionally felt the need to give love, and not only to receive. But this | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| I learn to always feel the need to give? ANSWER: My dear friend, it would be very | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| you not only to experience the need to give as much as the need to receive love | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| time, you are not discouraged and do not give way to the feeling that it is of | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| in reality. Only the process of growth will give you the inner understanding and conviction that happiness | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| other person outright. In your withdrawal, you never give warmth, you never fulfill the other person's needs | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| that defensiveness is not truth-producing. It does not give truth and reality any breathing space. Wherever a | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| convinced that it is unjustified before you even give yourself the chance to find the possible grain | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| have. This is the best answer I can give you. Any description, no matter how detailed, would | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| could not penetrate into your emotions. It will give you peace simply to observe the childish emotions | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| meaning of the time of Lent was to give people a period of going into themselves, of | 101 THE DEFENSE |
| Blessed is this hour. I have promised to give you a psychological explanation of the meaning of | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| you believe that having what you want would give you happiness, when, in fact, happiness is an | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| spirit of mutuality. One may be willing to give, provided one receives what one wants, and yet | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| feel humiliated when you are hurt because you give someone else the power to hurt you. Therefore | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| will never weaken you. Any healthy feeling will give you strength and freedom, even if the outward | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| fulfill your potentials. You cannot become happy and give happiness. You cannot unfold your creative abilities. You | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| or apathy, or withdrawal -- whatever name you give it. A person who has a positive, constructive | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| while. When you are slothful, you do not give to life, to yourself, or to others, a | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| a mature person who needs and wants to give love, who is able to give it, reconcile | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| wants to give love, who is able to give it, reconcile this with what romantics say about | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| you also know that if you do not give love, you cannot receive it. Therefore, consciously or | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| to be receptive to what you wish to give. For you it is a question of all | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| the other person, if you grow sufficiently to give only what can be received, another kind of | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| often discussed your own attitudes, your capacity to give and to receive. If you are the person | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| only to question yourself about your capacity to give and receive, but also to question the other's | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| are not predominantly withdrawn, who are eager to give and relate, and yet constantly find themselves hindered | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| or he wants to receive more than you give, or less than you want to give. If | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| you give, or less than you want to give. If this happens without contempt, resentment of the | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |