| Paralyzes...................17 | |
| is, when you are in this cloud it paralyzes your thinking and your endeavors in this direction | 24 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| it is the strength of your self-will that paralyzes you and makes you shy. And where pride | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| however, it has the exact opposite effect. It paralyzes all the genuine attributes that are necessary for | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| the real issue and are therefore ineffectual. This paralyzes success, which, in turn, causes frustration. The frustration | 79 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| to discuss further, pity is destructive because it paralyzes you. In compassion, you are strong and capable | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| genuine. This displacement creates confusion and knots. It paralyzes your spontaneity, your capacity to feel, to live | 98 WISHFUL DAYDREAMS |
| your own life and all that governs you, paralyzes you, and puts you in conflict even now | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| difficult to overcome because it is inactive. Sloth paralyzes the faculties, and thus lasts longer. But all | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| becomes very difficult, because your gnawing guilt either paralyzes you, or, if you manage to voice your | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| continue to fear the element in you that paralyzes the best in you -- until you summon | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| the cramped inner movement that debilitates you. It paralyzes your free-flowing energies and makes the transition to | 143 UNITY AND DUALITY |
| not only creates envy, but also guilt; it paralyzes the relaxed powerful flow of reaching toward the | 148 POSITIVITY AND NEGATIVITY: ONE ENERGY CURRENT |
| result of avoiding the feared area disastrous; it paralyzes your best faculties. If you avoid these feelings | 166 PERCEIVING, REACTING, EXPRESSING |
| not meet that in you which freezes and paralyzes the living spirit, it is impossible to be | 166 PERCEIVING, REACTING, EXPRESSING |
| I explained in the last lecture, fear freezes, paralyzes, stops movement. It is thus accurate to state | 168 TWO BASIC WAYS OF LIFE: TOWARD AND AWAY FROM THE CENTER |
| by this wrong combination. The negativity thus generated paralyzes everything in you that is essential for true | 179 CHAIN REACTIONS IN THE DYNAMICS OF CREATIVE LIFE SUBSTANCE |
| and affects your actions and words that it paralyzes your courage to speak up and confront a | 207 THE SPIRITUAL SYMBOLISM AND SIGNIFICANCE OF SEXUALITY |
| Paralyzing..................7 | |
| is better than a flight from suffering by paralyzing and deadening the capacity to feel and experience | 82 THE CONQUEST OF DUALITY SYMBOLIZED IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JESUS |
| for example, in uncontrollable hostility, and in part paralyzing the best faculties of the feeling-body. Experience is | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| feel as though something were holding you back, paralyzing your efforts. Although there are often a number | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| truth, immediately a vicious circle comes into being paralyzing the pleasure forces, which are a good part | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| directions? This struggle is more painful, confusing, and paralyzing than anything else that goes on in the | 176 OVERCOMING NEGATIVITY |
| in you out of fear and guilt, thereby paralyzing the best in you. To those of you | 184 THE MEANING OF EVIL AND ITS TRANSCENDENCE |
| and suspicion and fear and it manifests in paralyzing my creativity and ability to work and to | 239 CHRISTMAS LECTURE 1975 |
| Parasite....................4 | |
| partner. When a woman wants to be a parasite and burden her partner with the brunt of | 169 THE MASCULINE AND FEMININE PRINCIPLES IN THE CREATIVE PROCESS |
| resents the price of taking care of a parasite. Woman wants the advantage of being taken care | 229 WOMAN AND MAN IN THE NEW AGE |
| or another to over-permissive systems that allow the parasite to sentimentalize his cause. And so it goes | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| that was previously associated exclusively with the dependent parasite. The new-age man combines his heart feelings, his | 251 THE EVOLUTION AND SPIRITUAL MEANING OF MARRIAGE -- NEW AGE MARRIAGE |
| Parasitic...................6 | |
| others. Since you condemn yourself to living a parasitic life, you cannot help using those on whom | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| you have to be fully aware of your parasitic clinging to others, of identifying with others and | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| yet know how without exploiting others and being parasitic. If, however, you can fully accept the beautiful | 184 THE MEANING OF EVIL AND ITS TRANSCENDENCE |
| fend for themselves and instead take on a parasitic role at the expense of others. But in | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| abuse this system. The socialistically-minded can become more parasitic and use the power structure as an excuse | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| their greed and power drive with the actual parasitic nature of the lazy ones. In other words | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| Parcel......................6 | |
| attitudes are untruthful -- and therefore part and parcel of evil. Undefended, real pain opens doors, brings | 196 COMMITMENT: CAUSE AND EFFECT |
| impossible to be receptive. Receptivity is part and parcel of positive intentionality. Negativity and receptivity are therefore | 198 TRANSITION TO POSITIVE INTENTIONALITY |
| hold on. This universal conflict is part and parcel of the dualistic state of mind which prevails | 213 THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PRACTICAL MEANING OF LET GO, LET GOD |
| is an absolute prerequisite and is part and parcel of the stages of faith. A person's faith | 221 FAITH AND DOUBT IN TRUTH OR DISTORTION |
| new goal. Doubt is, of course, part and parcel of the state of separation. Meet the doubt | 243 THE GREAT EXISTENTIAL FEAR AND LONGING |
| fulfillment without the breaks that are part and parcel of the dualistic state of mind? All these | 253 CONTINUE YOUR STRUGGLE AND CEASE ALL STRUGGLE |
| Parent......................120 | |
| these alternatives. When it discovers that an adored parent has faults and is not omnipotent, it either | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| not omnipotent, it either turns away from the parent and begins to hate and resent, feels let | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| guilty about having found something unworthy in the parent. These reactions continue to live in the soul | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| the child longs for the love of the parent, on the other, it resists and rebels against | 47 THE WALL WITHIN |
| brothers or sisters or even with the other parent. The child is often unconsciously jealous of both | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| hand the child wants the love of each parent exclusively; on the other, it suffers if the | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| love each other. Since the love-capacity of any parent is imperfect, the child misunderstands that, despite the | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| The child feels excluded and rejected if the parent also loves others, however. In short, the exclusive | 50 THE VICIOUS CIRCLE |
| a hated and rejected authority's, be it a parent or someone else. In this case your motive | 51 IMPORTANCE OF FORMING INDEPENDENT OPINIONS |
| hostile authority in the person of a domineering parent is the predominant factor, the atmosphere in the | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| child's home is filled with fear of this parent. The other parent may be doting and permissive | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| filled with fear of this parent. The other parent may be doting and permissive. Although this influence | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| and why, what the attitude to the individual parent or parent-substitute was and is -- all has | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| You may have one indulgent and one stern parent. Or you may even have two indulgent parents | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| wish for a pampering, indulgent god, like a parent who spoils his child. If this god cannot | 60 THE ABYSS OF ILLUSION -- FREEDOM AND SELF-RESPONSIBILITY |
| an adult person, how much more could a parent or a teacher harm you in your youth | 61 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| not be so in reality, because the very parent who appears to reject it may have more | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| real love for the child than the other parent. But the way the child feels is what | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| greater extent than is possible, particularly by the parent who seems to reject it. When this exclusive | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| felt emotions, love and acceptance from this particular parent becomes the most desirable aim, all the more | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| love and acceptance -- is confused with the parent withholding it. In the confused, immature mind of | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| this conflict. Observe your relationship to the other parent, the one who seems to give freely what | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| superior one, always the winner, while the loving parent is subdued, apparently weaker and under the domination | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| weaker and under the domination of the rejecting parent, and perhaps even a little bit despised, the | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| the apparent or actual rejection of the loving parent. The child then gains the impression that the | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| child then gains the impression that the loving parent is weak, while the rejecter is strong. Therefore | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| is to be as strong as the desirable parent, and certainly not as weak as the undesirable | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| that the rejecter is strong, while the loving parent is weak. It may be the very opposite | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| it is not love that makes the giving parent weak, but other attributes. It may be a | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| to many other contributing factors, the domineering strong parent is the one who gives more love than | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| one who gives more love than the weaker parent who is under the dominion of the strong | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| under the dominion of the strong one. Each parent may then have desirable qualities, but they often | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| one another. You may unconsciously despise in one parent what you try to emulate in the other | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| not correspond to the inner situation. Outwardly one parent may be much more domineering than the other | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| appears, you acutely feel the dependent, wanting, needing parent as inferior, while the one who rejects these | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| with him or her, you reject the weak parent. You would rather be accepted by the desirable | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| be identified with the weak, needy and dependent parent. As far as your innermost self is concerned | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| is concerned, whether you actually betray the weak parent in words or deeds, or if you merely | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| capacity. At the same time, you betray the parent who has actually given you what you desired | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| what you desired to receive from the other parent. You now unconsciously consider his or her very | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| the noblest in you, but also the one parent who was the weaker one to begin with | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| this inner betrayal is important not because the parent you have rejected suffers from it, but mostly | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| the same subtle way as you betrayed the parent. Whenever you reject a person who is ready | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| she takes on the role of the weak parent. On the other hand, there may be another | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| person takes on the role of the rejecting parent. Examine your most subtle and elusive emotions. Go | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| you commit all over again against the one parent, as well as against your innermost self. The | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| the longing to be loved by the rejecting parent. Whenever this is the case, the conflict is | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| the awakening sex instinct turns to the other parent, the one who does not reject, or rejects | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| There may be isolated, exceptional cases where one parent offers a sufficient degree of mature love. Even | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| sufficient degree of mature love. Even if one parent has it to some measure, very likely the | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| suffer from the shortcomings of even a loving parent. More often, however, both parents are emotionally immature | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| infinitely harder to trace. If you had a parent who smothered you with affection or pseudo-affection, yet | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| in genuine warmth, or if you had a parent who conscientiously did everything right but was also | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| to choose in the partner aspects of the parent who has particularly fallen short in affection and | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| seek in your partner aspects of the other parent who has come closer to meeting your demands | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| difficult to find those aspects which represent the parent who has particularly disappointed and hurt you, the | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| partner with aspects similar to those of the parent. Yet it is these very aspects which will | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| no longer cry to be loved by the parent. Instead, you will look for a partner or | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| were while you constantly sought to find your parent or parents again, which of course could never | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| process still operates. The outside is the offending parent, or both parents, projected onto other human beings | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| same negative trends that one or the other parent had. Is it reality that this particular person | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| actually similar to some traits in the recreator's parent. The most outstanding would be a similar kind | 73 COMPULSION TO RECREATE AND OVERCOME CHILDHOOD HURTS |
| still do not perceive the reality of your parent the human being. You may know perfectly well | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| the other person. Even if you glorify a parent, he or she still becomes inhuman from your | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| if you stop glamorizing an adored and idolized parent. You feel it is your duty as a | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| to continue to do so. Not glorifying your parent may be equated with disrespect, contempt, resentment, or | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| but also because you may need this very parent -- however symbolically and in a displaced way | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| even now. Maintaining your glorified image of a parent can also be a sign that he or | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| mind giving up the glorified image of the parent is tantamount to losing all the love, acceptance | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| security you have ever known. By devaluating the parent you rob yourself of the only value you | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| be your very protection against yourself. If the parent remains bad in your eyes, then the slight | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| the necessary information and knowledge about parents or parent figures to revise your image. They may be | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| Of course this is possible. An otherwise delinquent parent may have a special quality to give the | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| child develops a reaction, a neurosis against a parent or parents, regardless of how good or kind | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| roles in their lives. One can be a parent and a child, an employee and employer. On | 110 HOPE AND FAITH AND OTHER KEY CONCEPTS DISCUSSED IN ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS |
| In this case, children want to become the parent with whom they favorably identify and later try | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| favorably identify and later try to be that parent, rather than find and be themselves. It is | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| look for negative identities. In other words, a parent whom one hates and certainly does not want | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| one's very fear of ever being like this parent, coupled with suspicion that one might be, is | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| identification with perhaps a vague sense that this parent may be better off despite unlovable traits. In | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| a negative identification. The tie to the undesirable parent may be even more difficult to sever than | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| to sever than the tie to a cherished parent. It is very important to understand this, my | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| may consciously admire and wish to emulate one parent and despise the other. Yet, in the course | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| behavior patterns similar to those of the despised parent. This often came as a shock. But such | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| insights indicate that you identify with the very parent you least wish to be like. So beware | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| how you felt as a child toward each parent, then see how in your present responses you | 115 PERCEPTION, DETERMINATION, LOVE AS ASPECTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| as mere theory, but from personal discovery. The parent one feels uncertain of, in awe or fear | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| particular rules of the superimposed conscience of the parent in question. It may often be the case | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| these standards were expected of you by this parent. In this investigation, the emotional atmosphere and climate | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| frustrations suffered. In other words, just as the parent may overindulge the child to substitute for feeling | 117 SHAME: A LEGACY OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES, EVEN FAVORABLE ONES |
| because of influence exerted upon you by one parent and your emotional response to it. An entirely | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| influence by and emotional response to the other parent produces the other side of your conflict. You | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| how they correspond to your attitude toward each parent. When you present practical examples, I can show | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| that your parents represent your personal split, each parent representing one side of it. This is the | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| of their impact on you. Response to one parent may be reaction to, and correction of, an | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| correction of, an unwanted situation with the other parent -- a compensation. The two sets of attitudes | 118 DUALITY THROUGH ILLUSION -- TRANSFERENCE |
| an extension of the self and of the parent of the same sex. But as growth continues | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| Whether or not of the same sex, each parent stands in the foreground at certain periods of | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| a degree, due to a demonstrative and affectionate parent, this does not necessarily guarantee healthy further development | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| emphasis, and ramifications of the search change. One parent may have given more pleasure, the other more | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| no longer be a substitute for the original parent you still seek. Then you will not only | 119 MOVEMENT, CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPERIENCE: PLEASURE, THE ESSENCE OF LIFE |
| transfer, the feelings one originally had for a parent onto another person. In the lecture dealing with | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| finding that you originally felt similarly toward a parent, but did not dare to acknowledge it. The | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| yourself to feel the original feeling toward the parent in connection with the new person, the negatively | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| sure that one is not transferring from a parent? ANSWER: One can be sure only by deeply | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| God to take the place of a benign parent, rejecting the need for self-responsibility. Concomitantly, as long | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| who should act as a substitute for a parent. They want such a God because they are | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| The more childishly you hang on to a parent substitute, making him or her responsible, wanting to | 156 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| and no longer need parental permission or a parent substitute as your source of pleasure and life | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| to fulfill the childhood need with a substitute parent. In your heart of hearts you are really | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| you had, and no matter how cruel a parent may have been, the real cause of pain | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| or people -- let us say parents or parent substitutes or general authority figures. Or there might | 199 THE MEANING OF THE EGO AND ITS TRANSCENDENCE |
| never be fulfilled, namely outwardly, from parents or parent substitutes, you will look inwardly where you can | 201 DEMAGNETIZING NEGATIVE FORCE FIELDS -- PAIN OF GUILT |
| willful superimposition of another person, such as a parent figure, over the real person. When your attraction | 207 THE SPIRITUAL SYMBOLISM AND SIGNIFICANCE OF SEXUALITY |
| own mode of fulfillment. It seeks a nurturing parent rather than the specific other person, and it | 207 THE SPIRITUAL SYMBOLISM AND SIGNIFICANCE OF SEXUALITY |
| figures to their children. Strong rejection of a parent, or of particular traits and attitudes in the | 210 VISUALIZATION PROCESS FOR GROWING INTO THE UNITIVE STATE |
| or of particular traits and attitudes in the parent, is an indication that a deliberate negative identification | 210 VISUALIZATION PROCESS FOR GROWING INTO THE UNITIVE STATE |
| The child will recognize what traits in the parent, and later in other authority figures, are to | 210 VISUALIZATION PROCESS FOR GROWING INTO THE UNITIVE STATE |
| behavior of an unruly child who needs a parent to discipline it. Do you not always find | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| a sense of security. A weak and wrong parent is no protection against a frightening world. Submitting | 247 THE MASS IMAGES OF JUDAISM AND CHRISTIANITY |