Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 203
September 22, 1972
Greetings and blessings for all of you, my dearest friends. Particular blessings are given to the beginning of a new working year — a particularly significant one. For this year sees the fruition of a spiritual form, materializing into an earthly form.
The building of this is indeed a beautiful venture, with which you fulfill yourself because you fulfill your task in the universe. Whatever difficulties have to be overcome are an expression of the sum total of the “body” that all of you form. This group, as well as all other created entities, has its own spiritual body. A body consists of many aspects, just as the individual human being consists of many aspects.
Each human being is an aspect of the greater consciousness, which is all one. These are mere words for many of you, but they might possibly open up an inner experience for you through which you will truly know that you are all one in consciousness. Perhaps you can gain an inkling of this even now, when after years of work, you are able to recognize and deal with various aspects of your personality. Some of these are in disharmony with your conscious goodwill; others, in harmony. On the very deepest level there is an aspect of consciousness that surpasses in beauty, wisdom, strength, and love even your best intentions and capabilities in bringing harmony to your inner, and eventually outer, disharmonies.
You learn to identify with each one of your aspects and identify them, one by one. Thus you gain an inkling of the sum total of your manifest being, what you know as “you.” You learn to accept even those aspects that you do not like and thereby transform their energy, instead of separating yourself from them so that they manifest as external forces.
This applies to all creation. You are part of the universal consciousness, just as a specific aspect within you is a part of your total personality. Your intrinsic fear of bridging the gap between the little, separate ego consciousness and the all-consciousness stems from the idea that if you bridge this gap you will lose yourself. This, of course, is totally untrue. For the more you realize you are all, the more you will be yourself, the more complete you will be, not less.
It is creation’s overall aim to bridge this gap and establish everywhere the all-consciousness. Again and again, you ask yourself why this gap exists. Many explanations have been given about the so-called fall — the Fall from grace or the fall of the angels, or whatever it may be called in religious terminology.
Let me now give you a new version of the same process. This is not just to inform you and teach you cosmology. What I will tell you about creation will be of immediate, practical value for your own development. Not only will it open you further to the deepest cosmic truth outside you, but you will find all these truths within you right now, if you wish to see them. Eventually you will understand on the deepest level why you identify with this separated ego consciousness, why you are so afraid of letting yourself merge with the greater consciousness. You will understand how illusory this fear is, and you will see that suffering actually comes from your resistance and is therefore unnecessary. These words will help open the door to deeper knowledge and to the experience of eternal, immutable truth.
Once again I must remind you how difficult it is to express reality within the confines of human language. For the terms and concepts of human language are fashioned according to a very narrow aspect of reality. Thus my words can always be misunderstood and distorted, or simply sound incomprehensible, confusing, and contradictory. Your three-dimensional terms can hardly contain the multidimensional verities beyond human grasp. Nevertheless, if you deliberately allow the understanding of your heart and soul, of your deepest intuition, to fill you, my words will reach you to some extent. There will be an echo of some inner understanding that can hardly be put into words.
Creation “started” — and of course it never really started, so when I say “started,” I am again squeezing a concept into human language, a concept for which there is no other word. Try to feel this truth! Creation “started” with the divine spark. The spark may have been tiny in an immense vacuum. Yet in this tiny spark was the utmost divine reality, comprising everything that is conscious within the most powerful creative energy, the most incredible wisdom and love. The infinitely good divine Creator aimed to fill this vacuum, a vacuum of nothingness, with the spark of the all. Gradually, the spark began to spread and slowly penetrate the darkness and nothingness of the vacuum. The spark had incredible light and glowing aliveness and allness. The vacuum formed an infinity in the “outer” regions; the spark, an infinity in the “inner” regions. Here a contradiction may appear in dualistic human terms. How could there be two infinities? It is truly impossible to convey this to the human consciousness — how it could be true that there is an infinity, but it is both vacuum and inner spark of eternal light, the later filling the former.
The eternal spark spreads inexorably its inner infinite regions. Perhaps you can visualize its form in a picture: imagine a thick, golden, sparkling liquid, teeming with energy and glorious creative potentials, containing within it all seeds. Brilliant, effervescent, alive, intensely conscious, it is endowed with every conceivable and inconceivable power to create worlds and beings. It slowly spreads, aiming to fill the apparently infinite nothingness. This is the All, in its infinity and eternality, inexorably filling the vacuum, until there is no vacuum.
Since the All is such vibrant consciousness and powerful energy, it cannot help but penetrate the entire vacuum. The outer region will be entirely filled with the inner world of light and life.
In the process of spreading, particles of this All, this divine spark, seem to get lost and “forget” the origin of their wholeness and connectedness. These particles believe themselves to be isolated dots of consciousness, thrown into the outer darkness and struggling against being swallowed up by it. This struggle is an illusion; the fear is an illusion. The apparently isolated dot is not really isolated. The connection always exists, but in the process of penetration, the advancing, spreading life and allness is partly diminished in its manifestation. In this diminished state there are “times” when the outer darkness seems nearer and more real than the inner life of the spark.
The outer vacuum is not evil, for evil is not nothing. Evil comes into existence when the particles of the divine spark lose their memory, and have not yet regained the knowledge of their connectedness and struggle against the vacuum. The ferocious struggle against giving up being, existing, aliveness, distorts divine reality and energy. The temporary transition creates a state that may be called evil. But it is temporary.
This temporarily and apparently separated aspect of divine reality must inevitably be drawn back into the ever-spreading All. That is, it is not really drawn back. Rather, the ever-growing fullness of the spreading spark catches up with the aspect that has moved ahead in a diminished form. All of nature, with its various life forms, is part of this great, slowly advancing wave that fills the outer regions.
Your own life, your struggle and your development, should be viewed in this light. Feel yourself as you bring truth and divinity into your whole being. This is the spark in you pushing to penetrate the outer regions. The more life on earth progresses in spirituality, justice, love, truth and oneness, the more it fulfills this creative process.
All this explains your resistance to giving up your negativity, your evil. If the isolated aspect has lost sight of its connection with, and its purpose in, the whole scheme, it can no longer identify with the all-consciousness of which it is a part. Thus, giving up the negative attitudes that express the struggle against the dark vacuum seems to threaten the individual with extinction. Giving up evil seems like voluntarily going into the dark nothingness — which is confused with physical death. Since the divine reality must ultimately fill everything that is, all particles must reunite themselves — or, rather, discover that they have always been united with the All.
The fear that the vacuum will engulf the apparently separated divine spark is what you experience when you meet your innermost terrors. For, what I say here, philosophical, metaphysical, and remote as it may sound, is not a remote event, unrelated to your present life. When you go deeply into yourself, you will find that this fear is ongoing in your inner and outer life. You will find the terror of the vacuum, and you ultimately will find the eternal consciousness, the all-consciousness, which is you and can never die, and which must slowly interpenetrate the vacuum.
The sooner you make room for these verities and openly respond to them, the sooner you will experience the true state of your being. But when your consciousness is steeped in the separateness as the only “reality,” when it mistakes the momentary state for the ultimate reality, your mind blocks off the experience.
This is the plan of creation, this is evolution, this is the aim. Can you see how you, every one of you, are a part of it? You have a task, for you are God. The ultimate in you, the All in you, sends you forth, sends an aspect of itself forth, which then manifests as an apparently separated ego-consciousness. It is the task of this separated aspect to probe its own depths and potentials to find the infinity of life, power, wisdom, love, beauty, and eternality. For all the whole is also contained in the part. It is your task indeed to make your whole conscious being aware of this, so that you can consciously and deliberately spread your being into the vacuum, filling it with your real nature.
When you meditate deeply, you will be able to use these concepts immediately to understand yourself and your life. Most of you have gone deeply enough to be ready to use these words, to intuitively connect with them. Once you see their truth, something very vital will change. For as you learn to accept both the positive and negative aspects in you and thus unify yourself, you will begin to feel the same way about your surroundings and you will know that all people — whether you like them or not, approve of them or not, whether they are developed beings or not — are aspects of the whole, just as you are. You will also know that the negative, either in yourself or in others, is merely an aspect of the positive being. You will cease feeling alienated from and frightened by it. But you need to begin first to stop being alienated from and frightened by whatever exists in you. For the more you fear aspects of yourself, the more this fear must be projected into outer life, onto other people and outer conditions. The only way you can cease feeling afraid of life, of other people, of death, is to meet what you are most afraid of in yourself. This is the path. I repeat: This is the path!
I have promised you, my friends, that I would give more vital material and specific spiritual exercises that will help you move further on your path. The first exercise I wish to give is a very important one, dealing with the level of feeling. But first I want to give you a short explanation.
By now you have all been in touch with very deep feelings that you have perhaps never before dared to experience or accept, and you learned how to express them. But all of you still harbor a very important misconception about feelings, which is that you can somehow “get rid of” negative feelings. This is a slight distortion. Yet I do not wish to imply that you will always be burdened by unresolved negative feelings. We must make a clear distinction between stagnant, residual feelings the personality is unaware of holding back, and the personality’s innate capacity to experience any feeling if the soul is in a fluid state. For example, the less you fear your repressed anger and the more you learn to accept it, express it, and assume responsibility for it rather than projecting it onto others, the freer you will be to produce anger “at will.”
The moment you think of this work in terms of “getting rid” of feelings, you must become confused. I have often said that when you transform the energy of an inappropriate, destructive feeling, you do not wipe it out. What I want to add here is that you can make yourself conscious of the state, which is as yet only a possibility, in which you are so flexible, so much in command of yourself, that all feelings can be moved out because this potential always exists in you. The false ideal of a highly developed spiritual state is that it should be completely without anger, rage, fear, pain, or sadness. This idea is distorted and leads to a rigid, unrealistic image. The more you are capable of experiencing any feeling, the less you will be enslaved by it. The less you can summon feelings, the more you are frightened of them and therefore at their mercy. This may manifest in an uncontrolled, destructive acting out, or in the stagnation of all creative energies, potentials and capacity for feeling. Like all falsehood, this misconception leads to a dualistic conflict, a double bind.
Movement is one of the essential byproducts of aliveness, of the unitive state. The vacuum is fixed; the spark of the all is constantly moving. You are constantly battling between these two states. You hanker for nonmovement. So you experience fear of the vacuum. You want nonmovement in the illusion that movement will carry you into the vacuum, where your consciousness will cease. Yet the life spark within pushes toward movement.
Hence, on your path, you are learning to move your body; learning to move your feelings; learning to move your mind, so that your spirit can move you. The moving spirit must be allowed to manifest; that is why all other personality levels must align with the spirit’s innate nature: movement.
You move your body so that the energy flow can penetrate your entire physical system, your physical energy. You move your feelings by learning to let them out and feel their movement in you. You move your mind by opening it to new ways of looking at things. This is an essential task. Your fixed ideas prevent the spirit from moving your mind and inspiring it by higher truth. I am not just talking about general concepts, but about your current situations. What happens is you adopt certain opinions and judgments and then invest so much energy in them that you eventually believe that these are your real feelings. The negative energy is being created by rigid and therefore unavoidably false thoughts. The limited truth, which you believe is the whole truth, then becomes the tool of error and self-deception.
Thus what you may now believe to be emotions are often merely fixed opinions. And where your feelings should unfold, you are paralyzed and unable to let them flow. The task of any pathwork is to bring the whole system into movement. But it requires very finely attuned timing to know when what is appropriate, otherwise harm can be done. Every level of the personality requires a different approach. Also, before certain exercises can be used, there must exist some agility in body, feeling, and mind, otherwise distortions will occur. For example, the deliberately produced feelings may be distorted through dramatization, exaggeration, fakery. Selfwill may be used to put up a good show and foster the illusion that the soul is flexible and in a state of flux.
By the same token, when the mind exercises itself by trying out new alternatives of seeing a situation, with the ulterior motive to get away from facing blame, accusation, and self-justifying victimization, this may lead to a false, superimposed serenity that covers up a great deal of negative feeling that has not yet been dealt with. You can see that timing plays a great role here.
Let us now consider what I said about negative feelings, namely, that it is a distortion to try to get completely rid of them. As long as you cultivate your capacity to produce and experience any feeling, the feeling, if undesirable, will have no power over you. You can never put your feelings fixedly and definitively behind you. There is no future state where all your goals are accomplished and you no longer need to move. This concept arises in itself out of fear of movement, rejection of movement, hence out of the illusion that movement is undesirable. If you are in a state of truth, movement is desirable, and non-movement is avoided.
Let us take the physical level as an example. Suppose you have sufficiently worked on the physical and emotional levels to remove all your muscular blocks. This does not mean that now you can cease moving your body. Were you to do so, new blocks would soon form all over again. For your decision to remain static would be based on a false concept of life, and negative feelings, in this case fear, would develop. If you do not deal with this fear by recognizing, accepting and challenging it, then you give in to the false idea, the fear, which prevents you from moving on any level.
The healthy individual continues to move — not for therapeutic reasons, but out of joy. Movement is then no longer a chore; it is a pleasure. As long as movement is a chore, the temptation to become stagnant and give in to the vacuum is great. This must be overcome by moving your mind into new directions; by deciding to move on all levels, so that your spirit can penetrate and enliven all levels with its life and its truth. Your spirit wants to bring light into the darkness and movement into the stagnation. If you stop moving, you begin to die.
On the feeling level, the same holds true. People who are advanced in their development may indeed have resolved residual feelings of hate. They may have gone through their residual pain. They may have dissipated their residual anger. This does not mean that such people cannot and will not experience these feelings ever again. On the contrary: the more residual feelings have been accepted and are no longer feared and rejected, the greater is one’s ability to move the soul currents in any direction at any time. Such people can now experience any feeling at will. The experience, however, must not come from tight selfwill; it has to come from the smooth, healthy inner will. If you can do this, if you can at will produce violent hate and anger; at will produce pain and sadness; at will produce fear and terror; at will produce equanimity and peace; pleasure and joy; love and compassion; then you are indeed in possession of yourself and can be moved from within.
Those who have a tendency to overdramatize, to be willful and to counterfeit feelings, should abstain from these exercises because they must first shed the mask that hides their shame of their real feelings. Those who have a tendency to use certain limited emotions as a defense against other emotions should deliberately abstain for a while from using the superimposed feeling to practice with. Say, someone uses fear as a defense against spite, violence, malice, hate. All those feelings must be worked out before any exercises should be attempted.
It will not be difficult for you to see that people who are very contracted, restricted, and alienated from their core are unable to produce any feelings — or only a very limited amount. They are numb and paralyzed on that level, while the people who are already much more liberated from the constriction and defenses because the residual feelings have been dealt with are much more flexible and can easily decide to be angry, sad, or be in whatever emotional state they wish to be at the moment.
Gradually, exercises should be done with this in mind, and each of you should evaluate where you are in this respect. This will prove immensely helpful and further your development. Use your inner guidance about when and how to apply them. The knowledge of these principles is very important. When you can increasingly produce feelings, you will be more able to bring out any last vestiges of feelings that have been neglected. Even when these feelings are completely gone, you should practice emotional fluidity to keep your soul substance vibrant and flowing.
I have always mentioned how important soul movements are. The inner cosmic movements that constantly go through you can be made conscious only when your emotional state is agile, when you can easily emote. Let yourself be inspired about these exercises; do them deliberately. Of course they do require the energy of a number of people. It is much more difficult to do these exercises alone, although eventually you will even be able to do that.
Begin by listening into yourself to find what your predominant feeling is at this moment. At first it may only be faint and you will need to build it up and allow yourself to experience and express it fully and intensely. After that you can explore other feelings as they begin to manifest. At other times your helper may decide to concentrate on certain feelings or your inspiration will direct you. Always work with meditation, asking for guidance and inspiration.
This practice of making yourself fluid and flexible is very important for your ultimate alignment with your divine center. Eventually, I will also give you some mind exercises to do. In the meantime, I will give you a specific one. Take any situation you are in now that is bothering you; any disturbance in your life. Look at the construct you have built in your mind with your tightly fixed conclusion to convince yourself and eliminate disturbing self-doubts. Probe with your active, deciding faculty to envisage alternatives other than the one you chose. Play with these other alternatives. Again, allow your spirit to inspire and guide you into new channels, which can show you that you will not be annihilated if you abandon your view fixed to the present interpretation. This fixed view is to a considerable extent responsible for the very disturbance you suffer. See this.
Often you must first unearth what it is you really believe. But once this has happened, those beliefs have to become flexible. Consider other beliefs. Broaden your outlook about the very subject you so doggedly protect with certain opinions. You wish to believe that your judgments, thoughts, and opinions result from a specific disturbing situation. I say that it is the other way around. The disturbing situation is a result of your tendency to harbor just such thoughts, judgments, and opinions because of an underlying motivation and intention. Perhaps these can be faced with less resistance when you allow your mind to become more flexible and try out new alternative interpretations. If the tendency to build a cluster of opinions and judgments under certain circumstances does exist, it is always there in abeyance, waiting for the next occasion. In other words, psychological deviations are associated with a fixed, inflexible mind that must be dealt with in active, focused exercises. The more you are willing to do this and request inner guidance and inspiration so that your mind can step beyond the confines of the construct, the more flexible your mind will become.
As the years go by, you will learn to do this better and better. Bring your whole being — your physical being, your emotional being, and your mental being — into alignment with the divine center through the ability to be fluid and flexible on all levels. That should be the motto for the work you begin this season.
Before closing the lecture, I want to give another exercise in the form of meditation on the triad of pride, selfwill, and fear. See the same bothersome situation from the viewpoint of pride: How are you acting from pride? Then visualize the same situation, focusing on how it would feel to give up pride. If the only alternative seems to be humiliation, then start probing for other possibilities. Ask for inner guidance to experience yourself without pride, yet without humiliation and with dignity. You have to make a real inner volitional step to be able to see yourself in a new way that reconciles dignity and humility and leaves out both pride and humiliating submission. If you are ready for this possibility, even before you can experience it, the divine life will produce it from within. But you must make yourself receptive to it.
Then do the same with selfwill. Envisage yourself in a new state of reaction in which you are neither self-willed nor spineless and exploited; in which you assert yourself but can let go and give in. The proper balance will come from your core in specific ways for specific situations. But the mind has to be open and flexible enough to let in new possibilities. And you must cultivate your spiritual capacities so that you can entrust yourself to the inner guidance.
Have the courage to go through the anxiety that comes up at first when you attempt to give up pride and selfwill. Then, last but not least, you come to the fear. The fear cannot possibly vanish before pride and selfwill are abandoned. For fear is a product of both, as you know at least in theory. Also see the fear in terms of distrust of the universe. You evidently believe that only your selfwill and pride can protect you from danger. This implies that the universe is untrustworthy and that all you have as a safeguard is this puny protection: your pride and selfwill. Question this premise and experiment with new alternatives. Open yourself for the divine reality to flood through you. Maybe now, maybe later, but come it must, and it will penetrate you with a state of consciousness in which there is no selfwill, pride, and fear, and where your conflicts, outside and inside, are transcended.
Do an exercise in trust in which you open yourself to the possibility that the universe will yield whatever you need. Experiment for the moment with this thought: “How would it be if I were to trust the universe, if in this particular situation I gave up the fear that comes from my distrust, and therefore from pride and selfwill? Allow your central core to fill you with an inkling of a state in which you can react without selfwill, pride, and fear.
These are preliminary exercises, my friends, to practice for your further development.
Love and blessings are being given to everyone here, with a tremendous force that you can utilize. Let it open your inner being so that it can then flow into your outer being. The universe is good and beautiful, and there is nothing to fear, neither inside nor outside, no matter how much it may appear otherwise, due to your present distortions. Let love flow into you so that it can come out of you. Be blessed, be in peace.
To my teacher Marieke Mars who taught me self-honesty. To my courageous and loving pathwork helper Dottie Titus.