| Appropriately...............10 | |
| way, a new beginning, in the Jewish religion appropriately following the New Year. Is that clear? QUESTION | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| in the World of Duality. This day, very appropriately, commemorates a very important event in your human | 82 THE CONQUEST OF DUALITY SYMBOLIZED IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JESUS |
| can give you real security. When you react appropriately to your own humanness with all its failings | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| which are to think, discriminate, decide, and act appropriately in any situation you encounter in the outer | 132 THE FUNCTION OF THE EGO IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE REAL SELF |
| two possibilities in others, and you will respond appropriately to these two entirely different experiences. As it | 198 TRANSITION TO POSITIVE INTENTIONALITY |
| all these hidden layers and deal with them appropriately. In other words, some parts of you are | 208 THE INNATE HUMAN CAPACITY TO CREATE |
| beauty that reaches expression on the outer level, appropriately and beautifully. There will be a poise and | 210 VISUALIZATION PROCESS FOR GROWING INTO THE UNITIVE STATE |
| Truth, beauty, love are ever-changing manifestations, changing always appropriately to the occasion. Therefore perfection is a constantly | 234 PERFECTION, IMMORTALITY, OMNIPOTENCE |
| within your soul is acting harmoniously, meaningfully and appropriately toward the responsible citizen principle within you. This | 242 THE SPIRITUAL MEANING OF POLITICAL SYSTEMS |
| to communicate, to listen and express adequately and appropriately also exists. To the degree that development is | 257 ASPECTS OF THE NEW DIVINE INFLUX: COMMUNICATION, GROUP CONSCIOUSNESS, EXPOSURE |
| Approval....................110 | |
| and the difference, between fearing disapproval and wanting approval, as against fearing public opinion? ANSWER: There isn't | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| opinion, it is certainly because he wants the approval of public opinion. Then he feels safe, because | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| in what way is it different from wanting approval? ANSWER: It is not different. I would say | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| in dependence on public opinion. With other types, approval is sought by the opposite behavior. Such a | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| order to get something, such as love or approval. Sadism is the consequence of detesting one's submissiveness | 54 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| can be accomplished by receiving attention, admiration, and approval. Many of you have found out by now | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| out by now that no matter how much approval you receive, the relief is, at best, a | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| is the following: If I receive attention or approval or admiration, all my worth is established not | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| as frequently as you plead for admiration and approval. Both exist simultaneously in many a soul. Both | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| noticeable, how strong, how obvious the cry for approval is and in what area the need of | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| of self- importance exists. If the demand for approval is obvious to other human beings, it does | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| hear the inner voice shrieking for and demanding approval. You have to observe the occasions when this | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| other values serve to gain that admiration and approval. I might say the majority of my friends | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| loyalty, intelligence. With most the means to get approval and admiration is a composite of many attributes | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| sympathy -- and, of course, sympathy stands for approval, too. Other sick currents also affect the image | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| particular direction. The image says that without the approval of the world around you, you are lost | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| people. But since you are so dependent on approval, whenever you have to take a stand that | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| loyal to. To gain this special place of approval, you feel tempted to do the very thing | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| too much in the direction of catering for approval, or going to the opposite extreme. I cannot | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| to say to yourself: I no longer need approval so desperately that I sometimes violate myself, become | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| the guiltier you feel, the more you need approval in the belief that it will alleviate your | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| inferiority. And the more you clamor for such approval, the guiltier you feel. This conflict arises out | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| in this statement is the demand for absolute approval, admiration, and love by everybody. The moment anyone | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| me to be, I will get so much approval that through it I can attain my goal | 58 THE DESIRE FOR HAPPINESS AND THE DESIRE FOR UNHAPPINESS |
| be loved or approved of. Since love and approval are so necessary for you, you would rather | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| reward, whether in the form of affection, love, approval, or to obligate others, or because you believe | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| wish to offend people because you want their approval. Further investigation will show that, apart from these | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| selfish, compulsive, and unfree, especially because you wished approval. Therefore your apparently unselfish act was really selfish | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| selfish. It is not so much for wanting approval or love, but perhaps that I want to | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| new way. ANSWER: Perhaps you do not want approval or love so much, although you may not | 64 OUTER WILL AND INNER WILL -- MISCONCEPTION ABOUT SELFISHNESS |
| of that which was originally desired: exclusive love, approval, and acceptance. A further result of this confusion | 66 SHAME OF THE HIGHER SELF |
| quite strong. Your dependency on public opinion and approval applies, therefore, not only to your faults, your | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| of fear or out of dependency on others' approval? Or was the wish based on unhealthy motives | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| aware that this constant tendency to fight for approval exists in you. As yet you are unaware | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| You will then realize that your fight for approval, to prove something or other, makes you self- | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| in getting what you fight for -- admiration, approval, whatever it may be - - it will | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| to experience the emotions which constantly fight for approval. You have to become aware of the compulsion | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| persists in you, submerged by your fight for approval, for proving yourself, for impressing the world. You | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| to love you. The outer cover is the approval, but in the last analysis you want to | 69 THE FOLLY OF WATCHING FOR RESULTS WHILE ON THE PATH; THE VALID DESIRE TO BE LOVED |
| various other desires, such as the wish for approval. The more immature a person is, the more | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| self-respect, you become less and less dependent on approval from others. If, then, disapproval still comes occasionally | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| forcing current will dissolve. If it is not approval but outright love you need, and this love | 71 REALITY AND ILLUSION CONCENTRATION EXERCISES |
| let us consider showing off, or fighting for approval. If the other person does it, the perhaps | 74 CONFUSIONS AND HAZY MOTIVATIONS |
| the point of selling their souls to receive approval, sympathy, help, and love. Unconsciously such people believe | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| any rejection -- withholding of love, admiration, and approval -- not only as unsafe, but actually as | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| self-centeredness, you need to be given love, admiration, approval. You have to get. This need necessitates planning | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| gratify their needs for safety, love, and unconditional approval. I venture to say that you all have | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| is created not only for winning love and approval from others -- as you believe it will | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| can save the day for you. A passing approval may make all the difference in your mood | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| of your nonacceptance of being merely human. Thus approval and compliments make you feel that you are | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| you may say that an inordinate need for approval is in itself unreal. This is not necessarily | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| a certain degree every human being needs occasional approval, let us say, in the form of encouragement | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| If an inordinate, and therefore unreal, need for approval exists, that is often because the real need | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| that is often because the real need for approval, encouragement, success has unwittingly been forfeited. But instead | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| resenting the world for not supplying the desired approval, people who work on their emotional growth will | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| love and affection. Or if your need for approval is inordinately strong, it is in proportion to | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| reaction, seeing the truth you will perceive that approval and liking by this particular person will yield | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| no clear-cut distinction between receiving love and receiving approval. He has only a vague memory that something | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| ambitious, while nothing favorable happened otherwise. When the approval came, the boy was not consciously aware of | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| be successful in order to be loved. And: Approval for my professional work is one and the | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| satisfy the image-claims to have success and receive approval. This image-claim will be granted. But the underlying | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| will be granted. But the underlying claim, that approval is tantamount to love, cannot be granted, because | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| for success will be fulfilled and will bring approval. Whether or not the overemphasis brings an imbalance | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| gaining love through success cannot be granted because approval and love are not the same. To believe | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| healthy and legitimate need. But the need for approval, at the expense of gaining love, is an | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| -- which all fall under the category of approval -- you are bound to pursue the very | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| knowledge of this need. Instead, he pursues success, approval, impressing others. This then has become a superimposed | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| not be fully aware of his need for approval. But let us assume such a person follows | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| emotions, he will see that the need for approval exists. To stop at this point will not | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| success so badly. The answer will be that approval is very important for him. Why is it | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| will automatically diminish the drive for ambition, success, approval, impressing others, being glorious, special, and so on | 93 THE LINK BETWEEN THE MAIN IMAGE, REPRESSED NEEDS, AND DEFENSES |
| fear, compulsion or greed, to receive love and approval. Then it is not your real self that | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| on rules and regulations, and thus on public approval. It takes courage to make a mistake, if | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| yourself, even at the expense of giving up approval. All of this signifies your having found God | 97 PERFECTIONISM OBSTRUCTS HAPPINESS -- MANIPULATION OF EMOTIONS |
| God, perhaps sometimes at the expense of outer approval from society, you are being true to yourself | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| fear of being despised by the people whose approval you seek. This fear is especially strong when | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| the best in yourself in order to get approval. They may not be aware of these reactions | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| the best in you for the sake of approval. You deliberately set up a process of self-alienation | 107 THREE ASPECTS THAT PREVENT LOVING |
| not loving. Your motives may be desire for approval and admiration or love, but not for loving | 108 FUNDAMENTAL GUILT FOR NOT LOVING -- OBLIGATIONS |
| expect of them -- be it financial help, approval, love, or acceptance -- whenever anxiety indicates that | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| because that seems an easier way to get approval. This, too, can be verified only in subtle | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| to acknowledge, I do need some measure of approval, some degree of gratification of my ego, chances | 121 DISPLACEMENT, SUBSTITUTION, SUPERIMPOSITION |
| adopt the standards and values of others whose approval you seek. This creates a block of pride | 123 LIBERATION AND PEACE BY OVERCOMING FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN |
| one's will, in order to conform, to get approval or ward off disapproval, or just to survive | 128 LIMITATIONS CREATED THROUGH ILLUSORY ALTERNATIVES |
| and true, stems from the concern to gain approval, ward off disapproval, and not from a sincere | 128 LIMITATIONS CREATED THROUGH ILLUSORY ALTERNATIVES |
| pseudo-solutions -- may produce a need for total approval from others. Thus the loser may be unable | 129 WINNER VERSUS LOSER: INTERPLAY BETWEEN THE SELF AND CREATIVE FORCES |
| self-glorification -- then I will receive the necessary approval, love, admiration, agreement that I need in order | 143 UNITY AND DUALITY |
| than to make an impression and grasp for approval. When the immediate barriers to transformation for its | 145 RESPONDING TO THE CALL OF LIFE |
| do it to succeed in gaining affection, love, approval, respect, and acceptance, without which it is not | 146 POSITIVE CONCEPT OF LIFE-FEARLESSNESS TO LOVE-BALANCE BETWEEN ACTIVITY AND PASSIVITY |
| dominant role on an emotional level. To obtain approval or admiration from others, one sells out on | 150 SELF-LIKING: THE CONDITION FOR UNIVERSAL STATE OF BLISS |
| for the sake of truth, to dispense with approval by others. My friends, each moment offers a | 150 SELF-LIKING: THE CONDITION FOR UNIVERSAL STATE OF BLISS |
| To let go of the need for others' approval requires humility. The courage one needs can be | 150 SELF-LIKING: THE CONDITION FOR UNIVERSAL STATE OF BLISS |
| like yourself, the greater your need to receive approval to assuage self-doubts. The greater your attempt to | 150 SELF-LIKING: THE CONDITION FOR UNIVERSAL STATE OF BLISS |
| views -- because you believe you need the approval of others more than you believe you need | 163 MIND ACTIVITY AND MIND RECEPTIVITY |
| more than you believe you need your own approval. I now go beyond this rather superficial level | 163 MIND ACTIVITY AND MIND RECEPTIVITY |
| in your own real self but in the approval of others, through which you hope to gain | 164 FURTHER ASPECTS OF POLARITY -- SELFISHNESS |
| the self out of greed for admiration and approval by others. I do not need to go | 170 FEAR OF BLISS VERSUS LONGING FOR IT -- THE ENERGY CENTERS |
| he may sell out his integrity to obtain approval and affection from others. He thus makes them | 171 SPIRITUAL LAWS |
| deep down they refuse to be independent. Craving approval more than having the integrity to be true | 172 THE LIFE ENERGY CENTERS |
| reaction to frustration; living for the sake of approval and impressing others or -- often simultaneously -- | 179 CHAIN REACTIONS IN THE DYNAMICS OF CREATIVE LIFE SUBSTANCE |
| and appease, which you do solely to gain approval from others. Submitting and appeasing lead to nothing | 179 CHAIN REACTIONS IN THE DYNAMICS OF CREATIVE LIFE SUBSTANCE |
| hidden way -- for the sake of gaining approval from others. You may express this state of | 187 (THE WAY TO HANDLE) ALTERNATION OF EXPANSIVE AND CONTRACTING STATES |
| substitute fulfillment in fantasy -- or in obtaining approval and being envied from others. In both instances | 187 (THE WAY TO HANDLE) ALTERNATION OF EXPANSIVE AND CONTRACTING STATES |
| example, that you could not live without total approval, unconditional acceptance and love, uncritical admiration, or whatever | 192 REAL AND FALSE NEEDS |
| happens around you. You depend on appreciation and approval from others, on being loved, and on being | 204 WHAT IS THE PATH? |
| this happens you are condemned to live without approval, appreciation, love or success. This is another dualistic | 204 WHAT IS THE PATH? |
| values may have crass manifestations, such as craving approval and selling out one's truth to impress others | 232 BEING VALUES VERSUS APPEARANCE VALUES -- SELF-IDENTIFICATION |
| on a shaky ground. When that admiration and approval is withheld, or perhaps even reversed, the ground | 232 BEING VALUES VERSUS APPEARANCE VALUES -- SELF-IDENTIFICATION |
| for cooperation with evil, permitting it, conveying one's approval of it, no matter how subtly and indirectly | 244 BE IN THE WORLD BUT NOT OF THE WORLD -- THE EVIL OF INERTIA |
| instance, you assume that the love, respect, or approval of others is more important than one's own | 252 PRIVACY AND SECRECY |