| Dependence..................11 | |
| to be approved by others will manifest in dependence on public opinion. With other types, approval is | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| will or self-will? The deeply hidden fear of dependence on other people's actions and motives is a | 52 THE GOD-IMAGE |
| is not in defiance and rebellion against your dependence on other's opinions of you. Unconsciously, you rebel | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| aggression and hostility; in man, his weakness and dependence. When healthy motives are muddled with unhealthy ones | 62 MAN AND WOMAN |
| comes from and also leads to more unhealthy dependence and need. Such inner behavior, no matter how | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| a very fine line separating healthy and unhealthy dependence, as well as healthy and unhealthy independence. How | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| not realize that any pseudo-solution produces an unhealthy dependence on others, regardless of how bent they are | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| the immaturity and inadequacy cause fear, clinging, helplessness, dependence; when wishful-thinking and greed, unacceptance of reality causes | 105 HUMANITY'S RELATIONSHIP TO GOD IN VARIOUS STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT |
| and helplessness and thus increase our weakness, paralysis, dependence, and destructiveness. Or we can decide to want | 171 SPIRITUAL LAWS |
| security. For your anxiety is fostered by your dependence on something that cannot be and by your | 237 LEADERSHIP -- THE ART OF TRANSCENDING FRUSTRATION |
| physically, emotionally and spiritually. When the weight of dependence is put where it belongs -- on God | 258 PERSONAL CONTACT WITH JESUS CHRIST-POSITIVE AGGRESSION-REAL MEANING OF SALVATION |
| Dependency..................105 | |
| dependent you still are on the emotions your dependency has created. When you first come across this | 39 IMAGE-FINDING |
| new friends, too, may cross the threshold from dependency on their unconscious motives to their independence as | 40 MORE ON IMAGE-FINDING: A SUMMARY |
| how, where, and why you have inflicted this dependency on yourself. If you understand your inner motivations | 40 MORE ON IMAGE-FINDING: A SUMMARY |
| one person chooses to manifest his insecurity and dependency one way and another person the opposite way | 42 CHRISTMAS BLESSINGS -- OBJECTIVITY AND SUBJECTIVITY |
| is an error. You actually rebel against your dependency on the world's opinion. Therefore, the remedy lies | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| is not your salvation. Also, in such a dependency you often become untrue to yourself, and this | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| subtle. Then find, further, why you need the dependency and pride, or rather, why you think you | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| myself, become untrue to myself, or else defy dependency by rebelling against it. I can now stand | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| others. That is natural. But the degree of dependency, its consequences, and the extent to which a | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| this is important for you, and what this dependency causes you to do or to forsake. But | 57 THE MASS IMAGE OF SELF-IMPORTANCE |
| from yourself, from your inner desire to forfeit dependency. Dependency often manifests in rebellion and complete rejection | 61 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| yourself, from your inner desire to forfeit dependency. Dependency often manifests in rebellion and complete rejection of | 61 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| softness in a man, based on his immature dependency, makes him weak and therefore less of a | 62 MAN AND WOMAN |
| development takes place without encouraging sick weakness and dependency. If woman develops those qualities in her which | 62 MAN AND WOMAN |
| this weapon serves to cover either weakness and dependency in the man or rebellion and aggression in | 62 MAN AND WOMAN |
| the positive aspects is often quite strong. Your dependency on public opinion and approval applies, therefore, not | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| between love and sentimental weakness, love and masochistic dependency -- and thus distance themselves from real love | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| you desist out of fear or out of dependency on others' approval? Or was the wish based | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| -- which is always based on fear and dependency anyway -- may show you a new road | 68 SUPPRESSION OF POSITIVE AND CREATIVE TENDENCIES - THOUGHT PROCESSES |
| With the kind of person you describe, the dependency on others and life's ups and downs is | 70 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| communicate truly instead of merely subsisting on mutual dependency and need. In this state one fulfills the | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| earth is, to a large degree, governed by dependency and need rather than by true communication. Realize | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| of sight. You also dislike yourself for your dependency, which makes you feel helpless before those to | 80 COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION, UNION |
| isolation and loneliness come from an inner, unrecognized dependency, as opposed to the healthy interdependence which results | 82 THE CONQUEST OF DUALITY SYMBOLIZED IN THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JESUS |
| and would consider it as weakness, vulnerability, and dependency in an unhealthy sense. Such a person entirely | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| are grave. The need for such love and dependency actually makes you helpless. You do not cultivate | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| who feels particularly humiliated and exposed by this dependency on love, who strives to appear invulnerable just | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| submissive and dependent attitude. False religion encouraged fear, dependency, helplessness, and a humiliating, though often very subtle | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| real needs. Needless to say, this lessens your dependency on others and consequently increases your self-confidence. You | 90 MORALIZING -- DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS -- NEEDS |
| This then causes the neurotic symptoms of helplessness, dependency, inability to make a choice, and of seeing | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| fear others. The tragic thing is that your dependency often hinges on completely illusory circumstances. So you | 92 REPRESSED NEEDS - RELINQUISHING BLIND NEEDS - PRIMARY AND SECONDARY REACTIONS |
| consequences upon yourself, to cut the bonds of dependency on rules and regulations, and thus on public | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| interdependence. On the other hand, appeasement, obedience, and dependency derive from the same greed as childish rebellion | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| as false sacrifice, possessive domineering, greedy craving, and dependency. Let us take another quality: charity. There are | 94 SIN AND NEUROSIS -- UNIFYING THE INNER SPLIT |
| is estrangement from yourself to project faculties, authority, dependency and strength upon isolated fragments of your personality | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| on having the solution handed to you? Such dependency will show not only your self-alienation, but also | 95 SELF-ALIENATION AND THE WAY BACK TO THE REAL SELF |
| The more you are in anxiety, bondage, and dependency, the less you are able to love and | 99 FALSIFIED IMPRESSIONS OF PARENTS: THEIR CAUSE AND CURE |
| If your pseudo-solution is submissiveness, weakness, helplessness and dependency as a means of having someone care for | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| is equally shortsighted and unsatisfactory as a solution. Dependency on others creates fear and helplessness. It further | 100 MEETING THE PAIN OF DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS |
| may be greater, and then that person manifests dependency. When the need is satisfied, the picture may | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| could not experience in non-involvement or in childish dependency and over- involvement. From a certain point on | 102 THE SEVEN CARDINAL SINS |
| hurry, your lack of acceptance of yourself, your dependency on pleasing the moral standards of others so | 103 HARM OF TOO MUCH LOVE GIVING -- CONSTRUCTIVE AND DESTRUCTIVE WILL FORCES |
| errors, your confusions, your preconceived ideas, and your dependency on the opinions of others. These obstacles can | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| have to separate your true wish from your dependency on public opinion. Then, in order to resolve | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| separate these two aspects. Become aware of your dependency on public opinion. Find out why you want | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| resolution of the problem cannot come before your dependency on public opinion is out of the way | 104 INTELLECT AND WILL AS TOOLS OR HINDRANCES OF SELF-REALIZATION |
| consider your question, you will discover the emotional dependency and moralizing character underlying it. Moralizing with yourself | 105 HUMANITY'S RELATIONSHIP TO GOD IN VARIOUS STAGES OF DEVELOPMENT |
| by giving in due to fears, needs, and dependency, and lose integrity, or will rebel. Then it | 106 SADNESS VERSUS DEPRESSION -- RELATIONSHIP |
| make your damaged self-respect depend upon others. This dependency has a weakening effect, since it leads to | 109 SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH THROUGH RESTITUTION FOR REAL GUILT |
| the more powerful adult world. Everyone understands this dependency. Children are dependent for nourishment, for protection against | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| process establishes soul and spirit. The bond of dependency on parental authority is cut. The healthy spirit | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| whereas withdrawal from involvement while frantically holding onto dependency is interpreted as the ability to love. If | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| is a cause. Whenever you find an emotional dependency on others, you can be sure that you | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| do not have to live in such useless dependency, which weakens rather than strengthens you. Do not | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| its fullness. Wherever such lack of selfhood, such dependency on others exists, you are bound to find | 113 IDENTIFICATION WITH THE SELF |
| fear is much less frightening than your helpless dependency on having to have what you want, while | 114 STRUGGLE: HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY |
| with genuine love but indicate immature needs and dependency and thus often bring rupture and disharmony, does | 115 PERCEPTION, DETERMINATION, LOVE AS ASPECTS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| reluctant to give up his clinging to childish dependency which may never be manifested outwardly but does | 116 REACHING THE SPIRITUAL CENTER-STRUGGLE BETWEEN LOWER SELF AND SUPERIMPOSED CONSCIENCE |
| giving up childish, limited self-centeredness. Hence, self-centeredness and dependency are interconnected. You cannot have the one without | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| because of this interconnection. You struggle against the dependency that you simultaneously insist upon as a result | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| of itself, accompanied by utter self-centeredness and complete dependency on stronger beings. On the other side of | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| and destroy them. Therefore its weakness and resulting dependency are a necessity and a protection. Similarly, for | 120 THE INDIVIDUAL AND HUMANITY |
| is why pride, fear, self will, greed, childish dependency, and refusal to stand on one's own feet | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| fear, obedience, wishful thinking, or the desire for dependency and reward, through rejection of self-responsibility. In fact | 126 CONTACT WITH THE LIFE FORCE |
| as much as fearing weakness and desire for dependency. The loser fears the resentments and the selfish | 129 WINNER VERSUS LOSER: INTERPLAY BETWEEN THE SELF AND CREATIVE FORCES |
| never provide. It frees you from weakness and dependency, from the need to belittle and to triumph | 129 WINNER VERSUS LOSER: INTERPLAY BETWEEN THE SELF AND CREATIVE FORCES |
| it very difficult to let go of the dependency I feel toward any person possibly representing my | 132 THE FUNCTION OF THE EGO IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE REAL SELF |
| you fear the consequences of this weakness and dependency. Therefore, as an inwardly weak and dependent person | 132 THE FUNCTION OF THE EGO IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE REAL SELF |
| fear that you cannot always win. In this dependency you need life to move always according to | 143 UNITY AND DUALITY |
| their individuality. They fear their submission to and dependency on the opinions of others and therefore feel | 152 CONNECTION BETWEEN THE EGO AND THE UNIVERSAL POWER |
| from it, preferring the pseudo-safety of restriction, inhibition, dependency, pleasurelessness. When that state worsens, the suffering becomes | 156 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| 157. INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY Greetings, my dearest friends. Again, I shall try | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| invented in order to hide this weakness and dependency which makes you feel utterly helpless, unable to | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| interaction is entirely different from the passive, weak dependency of the small child. The thoroughly adult person | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| The more urgent the need, the greater your dependency, your hope, and the more frantic your attempts | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| who has not been made aware of the dependency itself in very exact ways. But once this | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| unforced relationships. When you live in the old dependency pattern, you force others to make them do | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| coming face to face with your weakness and dependency, with your forcing-current that says to others you | 157 INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY |
| the individual remains in a painful state of dependency and lack of identity, of weakness and helplessness | 159 LIFE MANIFESTATION REFLECTS DUALISTIC ILLUSION |
| a few: self-deception about what being good is; dependency, which is also interpreted to mean love for | 164 FURTHER ASPECTS OF POLARITY -- SELFISHNESS |
| in order not to feel, which creates weak dependency and prevents finding the resources for meaningful action | 167 FROZEN LIFE CENTER BECOMES ALIVE |
| must particularly stress once more that it creates dependency. If you ignore your own inner obstructions and | 170 FEAR OF BLISS VERSUS LONGING FOR IT -- THE ENERGY CENTERS |
| true considerations, not by fear of disapproval, by dependency on another's good opinion, by fear of frustration | 172 THE LIFE ENERGY CENTERS |
| Only then will you be secure, for your dependency on others is what creates so much fear | 173 BASIC ATTITUDES AND PRACTICES TO OPEN THE CENTERS - RIGHT ATTITUDE TOWARD FRUSTRATION |
| when you are dependent on someone else. Such dependency may have the superficial appearance of love, but | 177 PLEASURE -- THE FULL PULSATION OF LIFE |
| that nothing could be further from the truth. Dependency stems from fear and creates greater fear, leading | 177 PLEASURE -- THE FULL PULSATION OF LIFE |
| for the difficulties in relating. This denial fosters dependency on the perfection of the other party, which | 180 THE SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIP |
| and peace, between helplessness and self-determination, between infantile dependency -- be it on another authority or on | 181 THE MEANING OF THE HUMAN STRUGGLE |
| profound manifestation of denying self- responsibility and of dependency. In effect, you say, I am dependent on | 188 AFFECTING AND BEING AFFECTED |
| suffering of others. Thus you fluctuate between infantile dependency, in the illusion that you are helpless in | 188 AFFECTING AND BEING AFFECTED |
| immunity to others' destructiveness comes only when this dependency no longer exists. When another's negativity does affect | 188 AFFECTING AND BEING AFFECTED |
| indeed explore what makes you so vulnerable. This dependency and vulnerability on the psychic level corresponds to | 188 AFFECTING AND BEING AFFECTED |
| is your growing feeling of helplessness and powerlessness: dependency on others, with its inevitable resentments arising from | 200 THE COSMIC FEELING |
| task today to overcome this pride and this dependency on the opinions of others. How often do | 204 WHAT IS THE PATH? |
| that you can rule just as much by dependency, blaming, and making the other person feel guilty | 213 THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PRACTICAL MEANING OF LET GO, LET GOD |
| of existing. Do you not constantly discover your dependency on other human beings who are as ignorant | 221 FAITH AND DOUBT IN TRUTH OR DISTORTION |
| The guilt ceases because you live honestly. When dependency and the consequent submission and lack of selfhood | 223 THE ERA OF THE NEW AGE AND NEW CONSCIOUSNESS |
| recognized. Most of you have already found your dependency, be it on family, a mate, the group | 225 EVOLUTIONARY STAGES OF INDIVIDUAL AND GROUP CONSCIOUSNESS |
| desire to run from it, while need and dependency are more dormant. A false independence is then | 225 EVOLUTIONARY STAGES OF INDIVIDUAL AND GROUP CONSCIOUSNESS |
| later assumed a mental and emotional position of dependency, thus actively choosing enslavement, no matter how much | 229 WOMAN AND MAN IN THE NEW AGE |
| clear. When relationships are formed to act out dependency, parasitism, exploitation of the other, and/or the need | 229 WOMAN AND MAN IN THE NEW AGE |
| is made not out of fear and weakness, dependency and submission, nor is it a rebellion of | 240 ASPECTS OF THE ANATOMY OF LOVE: SELF-LOVE, STRUCTURE, FREEDOM |
| intangible way. You may then respond to your dependency and fear either by submitting, selling out, and | 245 CAUSE AND EFFECT ON VARIOUS LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS |
| over, to yield, look for the undercurrent of dependency and the denial of genuine self-responsibility. The greater | 254 SURRENDER |
| interdependence with others will be free from neurotic dependency. It will be healthy interdependence that will give | 258 PERSONAL CONTACT WITH JESUS CHRIST-POSITIVE AGGRESSION-REAL MEANING OF SALVATION |