| are really one and the same. The idealized self masks the real self. It pretends to be | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the same. The idealized self masks the real self. It pretends to be something you are not | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| But since the self-confidence established through the idealized self is artificial, the result cannot possibly be what | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| work was necessary. The dissolution of the idealized self is the only possible way to find your | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the only possible way to find your true self, to find serenity and self-respect, and to live | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| secret, and you started to build a false self. This, you thought, was your protection and your | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| strain harder and harder to become this false self, this idealized self. You were, and unconsciously still | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| harder to become this false self, this idealized self. You were, and unconsciously still are, convinced that | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| hard enough, one day you will be that self. But this artificial squeezing-into-something-you-are-not process can never attain | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| and growth, because you started building an unreal self on a false foundation and leave your real | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| on a false foundation and leave your real self out. In fact, you are desperately hiding it | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| upon you by the dictates of your idealized self. You will discover the deeply hidden fear that | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| and differences between the genuine and the ungenuine self. And you will also discover what your particular | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| you will also discover what your particular idealized self demands. There are also facets of the idealized | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| demands. There are also facets of the idealized self, depending on personality, life conditions and early influences | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the morally high standards of the particular idealized self, they cause additional anxiety, in that the idealized | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| they cause additional anxiety, in that the idealized self will be exposed for the fraud it is | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| deeply ashamed of the goodness another person's idealized self insists on and would consider it as weakness | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| general effects of the existence of the idealized self and some of the implications. Since the standards | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| Since the standards and dictates of the idealized self are impossible to realize, and yet you never | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| impossibility of being as perfect as your idealized self demands, and never give up whipping yourself, castigating | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| to you that you are not your idealized self, and this robs you of the false self-confidence | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| to establish with the creation of the idealized self. There are other personality types who know perfectly | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| well that they cannot identify with their idealized self. But they do not know this in a | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| in showing up the phantom of the idealized self for what it really is -- an illusion | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| upon yourself. When you act out your idealized self, you dread nothing more than that, for taking | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| tantamount to saying, I am not my idealized self. A sense of failure, frustration, and compulsion, as | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| are the most outstanding indications that your idealized self is at work. These are the consciously felt | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| all those that lie hidden underneath. The idealized self has been called into existence in order to | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| superstructure which is this merciless tyrant, your idealized self. Yes, you could have self-confidence if the idealized | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| Yes, you could have self-confidence if the idealized self were really you; and if you could live | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| you are supposed to be, with this super self you build up additional insecurity, and further vicious | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| whisked away by the establishment of the idealized self, steadily increases. It snowballs, and becomes worse and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| stringent the demands of the superstructure or idealized self, the less you are able to live up | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| is the constantly increasing estrangement from the real self. The idealized self is a falsity. It is | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| increasing estrangement from the real self. The idealized self is a falsity. It is a rigid, artificially | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| and purity. But the feelings of the real self function in perfection relative to what you are | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the more estranged you become from the real self and the more you weaken and impoverish it | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| and struggle between the real and the false self. Only upon solving this most vital and profound | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| intellect. All this is the final finding of self. Before this can be done, a great many | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| struggle. You still believe you need the idealized self in order to live and be happy. Once | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| makes the maintenance and cultivation of the idealized self seem necessary. Once you understand that the idealized | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| seem necessary. Once you understand that the idealized self was supposed to solve the particular problems in | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| still further and recognize the damage the idealized self has brought into your life, you will shed | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| and depression, consider the fact that your idealized self may feel questioned and threatened, either by your | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| living up to the standards of your false self. Do not let it get away with using | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| your capacities and the standards of your idealized self and how you deal with this conflict. So | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| to understand the exact nature of your idealized self: its demands, its requirements of self and others | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| your idealized self: its demands, its requirements of self and others in order to maintain the illusion | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| you to weaken the impact of the idealized self. Then, and then only, will you realize the | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| is unloaded upon others, the effect on the self is still there and it can cause disease | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| very first steps toward giving up the idealized self, you will feel a sense of liberation as | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| you will be truly born again; your real self will emerge. Then you will rest within your | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| emerge. Then you will rest within your real self, centered within. Then you will truly grow, not | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| attitude will have new effects. Overcoming your idealized self means overcoming an important aspect of the duality | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| even aware of the pressure of your idealized self, of the shame, humiliation, exposure you fear and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| them with the fantastic demands of your idealized self. Only after fully seeing these fantastic expectations and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| have to hold on frantically to the idealized self. The mere inner activity of holding on so | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| know exactly when you have weakened your idealized self by fully understanding its function, its causes and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| The difference between the real and the idealized self is often not a question of quantity, but | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| important consideration is the time element. The idealized self wants to be perfect, according to its specific | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| to its specific demands, right now. The real self knows this cannot be, it knows that it | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| does not suffer from this fact. The real self is a complex of everything you are at | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the less self-confident you can be. The idealized self believes just the opposite. Its claims for perfection | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| but if you have not found your real self, you cannot come home. You may be lost | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| you muster the courage of becoming your real self, even though it would seem much less than | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| it would seem much less than the idealized self, you will find out that it is much | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| Are there any questions? QUESTION: So the real self does not have two souls, no duality? ANSWER | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| of the higher and partly of the lower self. These two sides will be integrated and live | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| tolerate it, duality exists. By accepting your lower self you can gradually overcome it as well as | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the duality between the higher and the lower self. By nonacceptance you increase the duality. This is | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| against death, as you struggle against your lower self, the duality increases. QUESTION: Could you tell us | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| interpreted to mean the higher and the lower self. And it can also be interpreted to mean | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the duality between the idealized and the real self. The lack of peace between the higher and | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| of peace between the higher and the lower self brings the idealized self into existence. These two | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| higher and the lower self brings the idealized self into existence. These two dualities are interdependent. You | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| are interdependent. You see, the more the idealized self is put between the real self and life | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| the idealized self is put between the real self and life, the less can life grow, the | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| For the clinical psychotic, the areas where the self is not accepted are overwhelming. For a more | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| person who can function in life, the idealized self may pervade the whole personality, but there is | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| observe your emotional reactions connected to your idealized self, then you will make substantial progress in your | 83 THE IDEALIZED SELF-IMAGE |
| in this attitude becomes estranged from the real self. The real self has to be denied, for | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| becomes estranged from the real self. The real self has to be denied, for to assert it | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| in turn contradict the standards of the idealized self. Consequently, they have to be hidden. This double | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| reasons. They exist, first, for denying one's true self, for the indignity of being prevented from being | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| up to the dictates of one's particular idealized self, which say that one must never resent, despise | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| the person cannot live up to this ideal self. Such failure throws the person into fits of | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| constant source of pain and disillusionment regarding the self, and therefore brings on an ever greater lack | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| forget that such attitudes born of the idealized self can hardly ever apply to the total person | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| see that, because of these demands of the self, you need other people to help you cope | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| in your pseudo-solutions, the less of your real self can manifest. You also need to experience this | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| to sense the intrinsic value of your real self. Only then will it become possible to let | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| go of the false value of your idealized self. It is a mutual process: by allowing yourself | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| longer need the false ones. Since the idealized self alienates you from your real self, you are | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| the idealized self alienates you from your real self, you are utterly unaware of your real values | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| can be rightfully called yours. Since your idealized self does not admit that these values still need | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| because they contradict the demands of your idealized self, or because everything that comes naturally and without | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| your real worth. Because you build the idealized self and try to be it, you cannot see | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| are such a far cry from the idealized self. But as you learn to do so, you | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| Gradually the process of growing into the real self will take place. It will strengthen your true | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| you begin to trust and like your own self, what other people think about you will not | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| You will no longer rely on an idealized self, which cannot really be trusted, and therefore weakens | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| power drive is frustrated because the person's idealized self requires to always get his will. But it | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| because it offends the edicts of the idealized self that one should never be angry with others | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| The more one is estranged from the real self, the less pleasure is possible and therefore the | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| thought and feeling forms, emanating from the real self, will affect the real self of the other | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| from the real self, will affect the real self of the other person. Under no circumstances are | 84 LOVE, POWER, SERENITY AS DIVINE ATTRIBUTES AND AS DISTORTIONS |
| or think you ought to be: your idealized self. The anger at others is, in reality, nothing | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| understood in the unconscious that if the idealized self were a reality and not a fake, you | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| good intentions and the demands of the idealized self. Therefore the pretense is prohibitive. It does not | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| reluctance to give it up. Often, the real self actually manifests, and what you described as the | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| on the reasoning power constantly prevents the real self from coming out. Thus it systematically discourages your | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| us how to recognize and accept the real self in the other person? ANSWER: Yes, it is | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| out thinking, How can I recognize the real self in the other person? You have a difficult | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| progress in becoming aware of your own real self -- which comes only after the sustained effort | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| sustained effort of discovering and understanding your idealized self -- to that degree you automatically sense, experience | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| you automatically sense, experience, and reach the real self of the other person. Conversely, in the same | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| in the other person. Therefore, recognizing the real self in another person cannot be simply cultivated and | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| find that it applies here. As your real self manifests, relaxed receptivity results and therefore reaches the | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| results and therefore reaches the inner or real self of the other person. Contrarily, the grabbing, craving | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| against giving up the glory of your idealized self. You fear that especially, above and beyond anything | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| the belief that, perhaps, after all, your idealized self may still bring you safety and security through | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| you are, the less you are your real self. Change and growth will bring the real self | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| self. Change and growth will bring the real self into the foreground, and this real self will | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| real self into the foreground, and this real self will in now way feel strange, for you | 85 DISTORTIONS OF THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION |
| a soul suffers a damage that the real self will rebel against. This rebellion, when reaching the | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| from continued self-denial and estrangement from the real self. This brings inhibition and the stunting of creative | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| they cannot do so, how they affect the self and others, and what their original purpose was | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| the idealized self-image manifest, as against the real self? Is there a continuing fusion without building a | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| counteracted by the stronger manifestation of the real self. Since there is no human being who is | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| that matter -- becomes alienated form the real self, and tries to become the idealized self. The | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| real self, and tries to become the idealized self. The stronger the inner conflicts, the stronger the | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| difference between t he real and the idealized self. In the relatively healthy person, the difference will | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| incongruent. The demands and standards of the idealized self will be less stringent. The desire-life of daydreams | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| to. It shows in certain expectations of the self and others. But all this can be found | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| friends, and ask you to open your innermost self to receive strength to enable you to gain | 86 THE INSTINCTS OF SELF-PRESERVATION AND PROCREATION IN CONFLICT |
| profound. As the inner barriers to one's real self are removed, the outer barriers will gradually disappear | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| yourself since you are estranged from your real self. Consciously you have one desire. You act upon | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| will find that the goal of your idealized self was actually partly gratified in this pleasant situation | 87 THE NEXT PHASE ON THE PATH; QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS |
| become destructive toward others, as well as the self. Rebellion must follow this set of emotions. Whenever | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| adulthood, freedom, growth, creativity, strength, trust in the self, and real security. The emotional climate of false | 88 RELIGION: TRUE AND FALSE |
| Most human beings look mainly after the physical self. They do more or less what is necessary | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| experiences. Yet this is done with your emotional self. You stop its functioning because you consider the | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| are actively engaged in it with your innermost self, not merely with outer gestures. You will not | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| this idealized self-image, you cannot find your real self, and do not have the courage to accept | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| destructive processes and to build a real solid self that will stand on firm ground. For only | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| namely that of gaining insights about your inner self in a meaningful experience. It is not enough | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| and then only can you build a genuine self you can trust and rely on. Then you | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| the inner will truly determined to face the self in its entirety, destructive emotions will not only | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| the fact that you are not your idealized self. The negative emotions in themselves would be much | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| if you did not cling to the idealized self while struggling to give it up. Once you | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| in you lashes out, destroying others and the self. Find the child who wants to strike out | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |
| It comes from your non-acceptance of your real self, from the blame you throw into the world | 89 EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ITS FUNCTION |