Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 186
November 6, 1970
Greetings, blessings, strength and love are poured forth once again into this gathering which has as its one common purpose inner growth, through which to find the truth of being. It is a long and arduous way, but arduous only because the mind is lost in its own maze. The state of being lost always undermines and creates a split in your will, which has the power to determine and shape your fate. Each one of you has an outer conscious will and an inner unconscious will. The second only too often goes into the exact opposite direction from the first. I discussed this topic in a lecture quite early in our joint undertaking, years ago.
Since then, you have developed both as an entity and as individuals to such an extent that many of you, my friends, who are actively engaged in this pathwork today have made contact with your inner intention, which is so different from the outer conscious one.
At the beginning of one’s path, one is aware only of what one consciously desires, wishes, wants, wills, intends, longs for. The person is convinced that their lack of fulfillment is a result of ill luck, or is someone else’s fault. It takes time and growth to experience the truth of life, that there must be something at work within the person that thwarts fulfillment. Even when this hidden agenda is glimpsed and conceptual acceptance develops, it still seems impossible to accept that an actual inner No exists which contradicts one’s conscious desires. So it is not easy to accept that, through your own inner “reasons,” you yourself deny what you so ardently strive for. Disconnectedness from one’s inner voice is the primary problem. Any work concerned with genuine self-search and development must unearth this inner negation and the reasons for it.
The progress in this group is remarkable because so many of you have actually found this inner voice and have discovered why it says No. Although you may still be far from being able to change it, you are at least quite conscious of your self-determining power. You no longer feel victimized and can set out to investigate the motivations, convictions and assumptions that create the split in your will current. It is easy to see that unification will remain out of reach as long as conscious awareness of the split is absent.
In spite of the fact that awareness of the split in one’s will offers great relief and increases psychic energy in the whole system, everybody fights this piece of self-knowledge almost more than the actual destructiveness and evil itself. Part of the resistance is based on wanting to deny the split, which is the inner negation of the outer affirmation. In other words the average human being’s predicament is that he or she consciously wants one thing, unconsciously wants the opposite, and then fights to repress awareness of this dividedness. The result is that you strive too hard and too frantically for what you unconsciously negate all the harder, and you find yourself in a frenzy of frustration, bitterness and tension. Alternatively, you may manage also to deny — on a superimposed surface level — what you long for. You dull your senses, your feelings, your longings.
When we started our work together many years ago, these ideas were at best a theory for those who listened to me then or later read these words. Some found the theory acceptable, to others it may have appeared nonsensical. Even for those who could accept the premises because they sensed the truth of the many layers of human consciousness, there still was much difference between believing what I said as a philosophical statement and experiencing it as a personal truth. In the intervening years, and particularly lately, the majority of my friends have indeed contacted the negative inner will.
I want to stress how important it is to realize that the more frantically you strive for a desired goal, the less you trust in its realization, the more this is an indication that a firm inner No exists. Instead of wasting energy in inner tension and frenzy to overcome what appears to block you from outside yourself, you would be better advised to set out calmly to uncover your inner negation of the frantic outer wish.
Many of you have discovered such inner negations. This is indeed a tremendous step. Once you stop battling, once you accept your split, a great deal of frustration is eliminated — but by no means all of it. Many of you have found yourselves strangely stuck at this point. Contrary to what you may believe awareness of a totally irrational, self-destructive will to negate what is desirable does not automatically eliminate it. Even when you unearth mistaken conclusions, false and unjustified fears which determine the negation, even then it is often impossible to give it up. At this point you do have more energy and you must also be less blaming and accusing of others. Self-blame and self-accusation may seem to have increased, however, for what you heretofore projected onto others you now see directed against yourself — all the more so since you are puzzlingly incapable of changing the No-current into a Yes-current. This is where many of you are.
At this point I have a gift to bring. Yet the gift is not something you can passively receive; it does not come to you without your participation. It is made possible as a result of your significant progress, and its execution will also require your active engagement. The gift has built itself from your progress in awareness and acceptance of the negation of your conscious affirmation. The ever-present, ongoing blessedness and richness of the universe can now extend itself more pointedly and potently to the inner place where you are stuck.
The gift is a living powerful force of healing that can flow through the instrument through which I manifest. To be precise, the healing force can now flow through the hands of this person. This is not a healing power on the physical level. Nor does it allow you merely to be passively receptive. This venture must truly become mutual. It can work only as a mutuality. The last lecture has given you some understanding of what the laws of mutuality are. Let me explain now how they can work specifically in this venture.
Anyone of you who is specifically aware of negating what he or she consciously desires, and yet feels strangely paralyzed, is eligible to benefit from this healing force. The force is a spiritual healing force which comes from a higher realm of being and affects your inner, spiritual self, where you determine, will, and issue your intentions. Usually, when people speak of a spiritual healing force they mean a physical healing force given to a passive recipient, destined to remove a physical symptom of an inner, spiritual malfunctioning. But to call this physical healing force spiritual is truly a misnomer, for a spiritual healing force must affect the spiritual part of the person and requires his or her active contribution in the healing process. Healers who dispense physical healing power tap a powerful universal energy, but it may not necessarily effect spiritual healing in the true sense of the word.
The following steps are indicated for those of you ready to avail yourselves of this gift. Come forth, either in the Questions & Answers sessions or after a lecture, and sit very close in front of this instrument. Your part of the mutuality consists in acknowledging as exactly as you can what you consciously wish and what you — no longer unconsciously — strangely and irrationally deny; what your inner being expresses that opposes the conscious wish. Then state further, very exactly, that you are unable to make the inner will budge, even though your outer being would like to release the locked force in you, would like to obtain from your spiritual self the necessary inspiration for whatever awareness may still be missing, and that you wish to make fluid what is now fixed. You may then uncover that non-fulfillment, with all its suffering, appears preferable to the dangers imagined to be lurking in an open, flowing attitude, so that negation and negativity, evil and destructiveness, seem protective devices. Whatever you must know about yourself in order to release negation will come to you. If it is simply a matter of letting go of fixedness, that will come. But you must clearly state that you wish it to come to you.
When you make these clear-cut statements, when your inability to move the inner will is expressed, as your ego-personality commits to wanting help, you will become calm, open and receptive. With this you have fulfilled your half of the mutual venture. Then, through the instrument’s hands, a very strong, living power and force will penetrate you. It will not directly affect your bodily ailments. Something more fundamental will take place, which can, if you wish, also affect your bodily symptoms. But this will happen from within yourself as a secondary result of the power given you. The power given to you will influence stagnant soul substance and can go to work within you. This is the gift that all of you who work on this path have made possible, that you have built yourselves, as it were. By fulfilling your part of the mutuality, you commit yourself, you open something in you, you go “on the record.” This “going on the record,” if I may use this expression, is a very important part of the process.
I also have a suggestion for all those not yet at the point of clear-cut awareness of the negation of their most cherished desires. It can be considered as homework and as a most essential help for everybody. First lift out of the vagueness what you long for, what is unfulfilled in your life. Most people do not state this clearly to themselves. They deplore a certain situation or problem but fail to state clearly that they wish to resolve it. The greater the problem, the less clear is the awareness that there is a problem. I suggest that you ask yourself, preferably on paper, so that it cannot elude you: “What do I long for? What do I wish to be different in my life? What would I want different in myself, in my personality? How would I like it to be different?” Answer these questions very clearly to yourself.
Then a second series of questions must be raised and answered in writing. “What do I believe contributes to the absence of the fulfillment? Do I believe that it is an outside factor or that it is in me?”
The third series of questions will be the following: “Am I at all aware, at this point, that there is a specific fulfillment I miss, and say No to? Am I aware of it, and if so, why, how? How does it express in my inner being? How does this inner expression make me behave in such a way that I make it impossible for the conscious wish to fulfill itself? On what beliefs, assumptions and ideas do I base the negation in contrast to the conscious striving?”
When you answer these questions as concisely as you can, you will have wrought a tremendous change in your entire personality, regardless of how negative, immature, or destructive the answers may appear to you. The benefit of being aware of yourself will relieve you from the tremendous pressure of the inner division.
The final question is: “To what degree am I willing to cooperate in this mutual venture, to receive the healing power, take it into me and let it work in me until, finally, I release these same healing, living forces from within my own being?”
Do not feel ashamed of saying, “No, I am not ready. I do not want what I want.” But do explore the reasons why. At least then you are no longer in the predicament of putting useless pressure on yourself that short-circuits your energies and also creates the emotional hazard of projecting onto the outside world the non-fulfillment you impose upon yourself. This confusion always induces bitterness, a sense of injustice and, therefore, resentments! You blame the world for withholding from you what you believe you ardently desire.
Another aspect of the problem is unawareness of your actual state, that your whole inner being longs for something desperately. Therefore a third layer has to be examined. The top layer of consciousness is hazily unconcerned, unaware of a great need, perhaps of a legitimate human fulfillment, that creates on a less conscious level an urgency which, in turn, manifests only indirectly. Tension, anxiety, inability to concentrate, absent-mindedness, a sense of futility about one’s life, depression, lack of energy, and often physical difficulties characterize this state. These manifestations are the consequences of being unaware of a deep longing or need. At times, a legitimate human need may be distorted by a so-called neurotic need, but the deviation is seldom a total illusion. Such need always harbors the germ of a real, legitimate need. Therefore it must not be totally thrown out, even if it is childish, destructive, and unrealistic in its present manifestation. Additional layers of vagueness, lack of awareness, must also be taken into consideration. They may even exist in some areas of the personality, with people who are quite aware of their negativities and negation in other areas of their personality.
So we have two manifestations. Some people are very conscious of a lack in their lives and suffer severely from it. Others are not aware of their longing or their needs. With their sensibilities dulled they suffer only indirectly from the unfulfillment. This insensibility is not an advantage. It creates more self-alienation, less aliveness, and it requires more work until the layer of longing becomes more conscious. People in this predicament should deeply listen into themselves and ask: “What is it that I really want? What is lacking in my life? Do I really have the fulfillment I long for? Is there something deep inside me that knows more is possible than I allow myself to experience?”
I emphasize again, we are not dealing here with personality types — one person falling into the former, another into the latter category. Each individual will be in different inner places with respect to different aspects of their being. The approach I suggest here can be applied by everyone. It serves to make you more conscious of your longing — and this is good.
With regard to what is affirmed and what is negated, there are also two possibilities: In some instances the affirming part of the self strives for what is healthy, furthering pleasure, love, expansion, growth, fulfillment; while the destructive, ignorant part negates. In other instances, affirming something may be totally contrary to the unity and growth, fulfillment and health of the personality, so that unconscious negation springs from the best, most wise aspect of the self. Fixed outer values are never a reliable answer to which is which. It is therefore necessary to keep evaluation shelved until the personality is aware of itself and its various voices. For example, a certain vocational pursuit may appear completely acceptable and “right,” but it may not be “right” for this particular person.
Wherever you have a conflict or a problem in your life which seems difficult to resolve, that casts a shadow over your joyousness, this approach can be used. Your lack of clear awareness of your saying No also blocks you from meditation in such areas. This obstruction, when you confront it, is an invaluable indicator of your dividedness and should be heeded.
Those of you who are ready to receive this powerful energy can now come to me. The result may be a deeper awareness and understanding, new knowledge. But it may simply be a new loosening up, an ability to let go of something negative, a new energy and flexibility within the soul substance. Or it may be both, one leading to the other. Sometimes explanations may also come from me, as this force is poured into you. At other times, whatever knowledge is needed in you will come from within yourself as the force goes to work in you — provided you nurture it and stay open to it. The power can release your own power to be inspired and energized by yourself. This is the gift of a new mutuality that can take place and that can be built later into further and further extensions of this spiritual force. Everyone who is truly willing to receive this help can receive it.
Now, are there any questions?
QUESTION: Is the path of alternation between the inner and the outer Yes a path of consciousness or a path of action? If it is the former, the only problem is really one’s ability to follow it. If it is the latter, which would require radical changes in one’s lifelong commitments, then it could be very disturbing.
ANSWER: Outer action or change is meaningless unless it arises out of a harmonious desire. Then obstacles will fall by the wayside. First consciousness, feeling and awareness must be cultivated. Then everything else follows naturally and organically. The change may outwardly create disruption, but if the inner being is whole, these disruptions are necessary steps to overcome previous forms, which are no longer of value in the life of the people concerned.
The process cannot ever be completely generalized, however. At times, outer changes must be undertaken to preserve the wholeness of the person. At other times, outer changes occur gradually, as awareness grows. This does not mean that there is no activity. The inner activity may be so intense that the change wrought in the personality is more meaningful than any outer change could be — for example, change enforced in order to cover up an inner fixedness and resistance. What is indicated never lies in the outer action. What is right and good in one case may be the worst thing in another. Answering the questions I have raised — because of the honesty required and the confrontation involved — indicates a highly active state. The commitment to the divine power is not a passive manifestation. It too, implies activity. On the other hand, if a person waits to bring about outer change until he or she is free from fear and resistance, expansion may never be possible. Often the person must go through these feelings, regardless of the unpleasantness, to fully realize the truth of his or her situation. Self-surrender is never an indication of passivity. It is one of the most active commitments a person can undertake.
QUESTION: Why is it so hard to give up one’s neurosis?
ANSWER: The creative soul substance, when it is unobstructed, free and in harmony with its own creativeness, is constantly moving. Living matter never stands still. It moves and moves and moves. Misconceptions and errors breed negativity. Negativity breeds more error. Soul substance trapped in error and negativity is stagnant and fixed. The difficulty is making that fixedness fluid again. There is no particle or atom of energy or substance that does not contain consciousness. The universe is permeated with energy/consciousness, but not as separate entities existing side by side. Energy is consciousness and consciousness is energy. Consciousness that solidifies into fixed substance must be made fluid again, must wake up out of its own stagnation. Stagnant, fixed energy/consciousness needs its own loosening up. Fluid consciousness and energy can affect the stagnant, fixed parts only with the greatest difficulty, because true awakening must happen within the dormant part. Free-flowing energy/consciousness is therefore always repulsed by the fixed state. This is what I meant by the mind being lost in its own maze. Stagnant consciousness must somehow find the way to let go of itself. As long as free flow is not the mode, substance, energy and consciousness trapped into a fixed nucleus will remain stationary.
These words are not easy to understand because they deal with concepts the human mind cannot grasp. You must use your intuitive faculties to sense the meaning. Those who have received inklings of the true world where all is one, where existing things are not separated, will feel what I mean here. The task of the fluid, enlightened consciousness can be accomplished only little by little, influencing and affecting the stagnant, entrapped energy/consciousness/substance, which is what is called “neurosis.” Since the deadened consciousness is dead — which may sound like a redundant statement, but is not — it takes a great deal of patience and searching finally to influence it with the free consciousness, allowing the fluid, flowing energy to influence the stagnant mass. For if free enlightened consciousness and fluid energy did not prevail upon fixed consciousness and soul substance, it would remain fixed forever and ever. The free-flowing consciousness/energy eventually prevails.
(After this, two people availed themselves of the Guide’s offer; they came close to Eva and stated their specific, personal negations and affirmations. The forthcoming energy and power was a deep experience for everyone present. The room was filled with it and, to a few, radiating energy was visible. Unfortunately it is not possible to describe the experience in words.)
My dearest, dearest friends: Love, spiritual power, and wisdom are one. The help that comes from “outside” here is not the kind that will ever make you passive. It will elicit the same source within you that is the fountain of all life. It must be that way. It will more and more prevail upon stagnant energy and consciousness and make them light again. The first step lies in your active participation as you walk the path that leads into your innermost being. The second step, stating and clarifying your conflict — as two of my friends here have done — must generate more of the great universal power that is in infinite supply — outside and inside of you.
This is a blessed thing, my friends. It arose out of your contribution and will continue to grow out of your contribution. It is indeed a living force. It is a reality. As all living things, its continuous life and fruitful manifestation depend entirely on the degree to which this enterprise remains mutual. The mutuality will express itself first between your own giving of yourself in truthfulness and the helping power coming through me and the hands of the instrument. Later, it will work between your ego-consciousness and the source of all life within yourself, which converge together onto the stagnant matter, to loosen it up more and more. Maybe you can visualize the difference between stagnant matter, stagnant energy and consciousness that without change hates and holds, and holds and hates, and fluid matter, consciousness and energy that knows the truth of life and love. When you visualize those two ways of being, it will make it easier for you to make a deliberate, conscious choice: to let the latter influence the former.
Love comes to every one of you here. Some of this power comes forth whenever blessings are expressed, whenever you are open for them. These blessings can reach you and lighten your burden by making your own stagnancy fluid again. But when you sit here defensively and doubtingly, the blessing force cannot reach you. However, it is always forthcoming to some degree, and it will come now stronger and stronger, as you open to it more and more, conscious of its reality, becoming more receptive to it. Thus you will increase the power of the blessings. Be in peace my loved ones.
To my teacher Marieke Mars who taught me self-honesty. To my courageous and loving pathwork helper Dottie Titus.